August 30, 2008

Impressive Political Acumen from The Huffy Po

Like everyone else on God’s green earth, we, the crack young staff of “The Hatemonger’s Quarterly,” were surprised that Sen. McCain chose Sarah Palin, the Republican governor of Alaska, as his vice-presidential running mate. We say this, dear reader, because Gov. Palin doesn’t have much political experience.

Still, we are willing to give Gov. Palin a chance, if only to anger our Democratic friends, who have already whipped themselves up into a Dan Quayle lather. At something called, for instance, a scarecrow named Paul Begala (is “Begala” Old Norse for “Quick, Give Me a Paper Bag”?) has pronounced John McCain insane: How could he put such an inexperienced hack a heartbeat away from the presidency?

To which the proper response is: Uh, Mr. Begala, you want the inexperienced Barack Obama to be no heartbeats away from the presidency, though he has spent a few measly and generally unproductive years in the Senate. If you’ll pardon the reference under the circumstances, have you ever seen a pot call a kettle black?

But Mr. Begala’s pseudo-journalistic Democratic boosterism isn’t the only example of hasty, pathetic left-wing attacks on the comparatively unknown Gov. Palin. For a treasure trove of cant, we, the crack young staff of “The Hatemonger’s Quarterly,” headed to—where else?—the ole’ Huffington Post, Arianna Huffington’s e-orgy of self-puffery.

Ah, and what enlightenment we found! Some obstreperous hack called Greg Mitchell fumed that Sen. Kay Bailey Hutchinson (R-Texas)…doesn’t know much about Gov. Palin! Oh, boy! Oh, dear!

We don’t know about you, dear reader, but we simply can’t vote for someone for public office if she doesn’t pass the Kay Bailey Hutchinson Recognition Test. If Sen. Hutchinson doesn’t know her, she’s simply out of bounds.

And we’re sure that the gorgeous Mr. Mitchell feels the same way. After all, he wouldn’t stoop to mentioning Sen. Hutchinson’s unfamiliarity with Gov. Palin merely to score a cheap political point, would he?

Naw: As a Huffy Po regular, he must wait Sen. Hutchinson’s political announcements with eager expectation. And vote accordingly.

Otherwise, he’s just a grandstanding boob.

Posted at August 30, 2008 12:01 AM | TrackBack