February 09, 2007

El Jeffe de Cuba

Greetings, loyal readers of The Hatemonger's Quarterly. It is your Maximum Leader here for day three of his five days of "weblogging" at The Hatemonger's Quarterly. As many of your know, your Maximum Leader is an honorary member of the Crack Young Staff of The Hatemonger's Quarterly. He knows it is a great honor, and it is an honor for which he is deeply appreciative.

With honors and titles come responsibility. A responsibility to you, the beleagured reader of The Hatemonger's Quarterly, to present heterodox views with as much accuracy and insight as possible. Alas, your Maximum Leader appears to have failed at this. Indeed, your Maximum Leader is lucky that Patrick Fitzgerald is busy now with Tim Russert and Lewis "Scooter" Libby. If Fitzgerald were not occupied it is quite likely he'd be coming after your Maximum Leader with some sort of perjury trial. And that would put a damper on your Maximum Leader's otherwise cheery disposition.

Some of you may recall your Maximum Leader's last stint as "Guest Weblogger" here at HMQ. It was way back in August of 'aught six. Back then your Maxmium Leader gave you a preview of the prepared death statements that would attend the death of Fidel Castro. In that piece, your Maximum Leader gave you a preview of some of the comments that you would be reading when Fidel Castro passed from this life into the inferno that (presumably) awaits him.

Alas, your Maximum Leader jumped the gun on that one. Sort of like when CNN posted an obit for Dick Cheney in 2001. As it turns out they had also mocked up obituaries for Pope John Paul II, Gerald Ford, and - interestingly - Fidel Castro. It was a veritable "dead pool" over at CNN in 2001. One might say there is nothing like being prepared, but all that seemed a little excessive...

But your Maximum Leader digresses...

Well, ever since falling ill in July/August of 2006, Fidel Castro hasn't had the good manners to die. It is too bad really. One supposes that Mrs. P will have to re-open her "Ghoul Pool" and allow Fidel to be chosen. (By the way, your Maximum Leader is still betting on Robert Mugabe to be next to die in that little pool...) Your Maximum Leader apologizes to you all for getting your hopes up a wee bit too soon.

Of course, since Fidel hasn't died that gives the good people over at the AP reason to conduct "(wo-)man on the street" interviews to gauge the real feelings of the American people towards Fidel. For instance, Shawn Corey of North Carolina tells the AP: "I think we should end the trade embargo. It would open the eyes of all of the people of the country to see exactly what they've been missing. If we had free access back and forth, that could become another Virgin Island paradise." One wonders what type of "Virgin Island paradise" Corey had in mind. He seems like a real Cuba expert. Perhaps he went with Danny Glover and Harry Belefonte on one of their many trips to the carribbean socialist paradise that is Cuba. If only we all could go and have our eyes opened as to how great a nation Fidel will leave behind.

Then there is the remarkably astute observation by Mount Gilead (NC) high school secretary Patty Byrd who says: "I feel like if his brother (Raul) that's in charge right now takes over, I feel like he'll probably be the same." Your Maximum Leader wonders if Ms. Byrd intentionally tries to emulate the dialect of her students or if the AP "sexed up" her comments.

Comments of the Venezuelan Ambassador that Castro is improving not withstanding, your Maximum Leader hopes that he will not have to write yet another Fidel Castro story in a few more months...

Carry on.

Posted at February 9, 2007 12:01 AM | TrackBack