Catching a break

Greetings, loyal readers of The Hatemonger's Quarterly. It is your Maximum Leader of the "weblog" Naked Villainy. This is day four of his weeklong stint as guest "weblogger." He is sure that all of you are already anxiously awaiting the return of the Crack Young Staff and their insightful and witty animadversions on culture, politics and academe.

Alas, you'll have to wait a few more days yet.

Your Maximum Leader was reading many newspapers, blogs and journals over the weekend. He was trolling the depths of that which is called "news" looking for something about which he could opine. Well, not just opine. But opine humorously. Allow him to state for the record, this has been a tough news weekend for him.

Sure you've got stories of astronauts who appear to have broken through the lunatic fringe and "gone postal." Well... Almost postal, no one died. The big catch phrase of that story appears to be that the female astronaut in question wore a diaper on her 900 mile trek from Houston to Orlando. She wore this diaper to avoid having to stop for potty breaks during the drive. Surely those of you with children will understand this. Small children and their potty breaks can make a 9 mile trip seem like a 900 mile trip. Sometimes one wonders if every family going on a driving vacation shouldn't avail themselves of some sort of absorbent undergarment. Regardless, the diaper is always mentioned in the reporting of this story.

Frankly, your Maximum Leader is somewhat impressed with the astronaut. She drove from Houston, TX to Orlando, FL. In a car - obviously. She did this to interdict a female co-worker who was flying from Houston to Orlando. Did you catch that part of the story? She outperformed, in her car, a regularly scheduled commercial flight on a major airline. That is a pretty fair accomplishment. An accomplishment worthy of praise, not derision.

Then again there was all that stuff about her having a wig, a mallet of some sort, a BB gun and mace/pepper spray. Her intentions were not good, but she certainly did show some moxie in trying to accomplish her "mission."

(Your Maximum Leader also doesn't find it all that unusual that an astronaut would think of wearing a diaper for a long task like that. They have to wear absorbent undergarments while they are strapped into their chairs awaiting blastoff. They can't very well call off the countdown for a potty break...)

Then there is the whole sordid Anna Nicole Smith affair. But your Maximum Leader can't (yet) put together a cogent thought on the whole mess. It is truly beyond imagination.

In the cacophony of other news you may have missed the stories about the Senate debate on Iraq. Or the lack of debate as it were. Your Maximum Leader has been following that story quite closely and finds it both sad and humorous that the Republican minority just can't seem to catch a break in the reporting of the story. Surely you've seen the headlines and bylines? They all read like this: Republicans thwart debate of Iraq in Senate. All the reporting is along the lines of how the Republicans don't want to debate Iraq and how all the Democrats want to do is have an open debate on Iraq.

Of course, the truth of the matter is somewhat different. Contrary to the normal custom of the Senate, the Democratic majority wants to force the minority to debate a single resolution - and deny the opportunity to amend the resolution. While this is perfectly normal - nay perfectly expected - in the House of Representatives; it is out of character for the "greatest debating chamber in the history of the world."

Democrats, when in the minority, did the same things the Republicans are doing now. Only in the past the Democrats haven't received all the bad press.

Now that is funny.

Carry on.