December 06, 2007

Kumbaya, Iran, Kumbaya

Well, isn’t that a bit of a change? Thanks to our friends responsible for this year’s National Intelligence Estimate, Rip Torn is more of a threat to America than Iran is.

Not exactly, of course. Yet, as has oft been mentioned in the press of late, the NIE folks now believe that Iran halted its nuclear weapons program in 2003. If we, the crack young staff of “The Hatemonger’s Quarterly,” had any faith in American intelligence, we’d be overjoyed.

Hooray, hooray! Iran isn’t attempting to build nuclear weapons anymore. We always guessed that this was the case: We don’t mean to jump on the bandwagon, but Mahmoud Ahmadinejad has always struck us as a man of peace. (Or is that “man of piece”—piece of Israel?)

Surely Lee Bollinger owes President Ahmadinejad a few words of apology—if he didn’t already. Boy, there’s egg all over President Bollinger’s face, eh? It turns out that the brutal dictator Bollinger excoriated is actually a Muslim Mother Theresa.

In addition, Israel must finally be able to get a little rest and relaxation. No need for vigilance now: Iran doesn’t have the bomb, and thus can’t wipe the dreaded Zionist Entity off the map.

Further, we imagine that President Bush’s domestic political critics are crowing. Aha, they think: Our Moron-in-Chief oversold the threat the mad mullahs pose, just like he exaggerated the evils of that charming and enlightened philosopher-king, Saddam Hussein.

Another victory for Harry Reid’s brand of “aggressive diplomacy”? More evidence that America should come up with more “diplomatic surges,” and fewer of the bellicose variety?

Hardly. After all, according to this year’s NIE, Iran halted its nuclear ambitions in 2003. If this is true—if—it strikes us that the date that this happened is somewhat significant.

But what other foreign policy decision also occurred in 2003? Gee: Nothing comes to mind.

Oh, wait: The US and its allies liberated Iraq then. Huh: We wonder if that’s connected to the Iranian government’s decision to forgo its typical pugnacity.

Posted at December 6, 2007 12:01 AM | TrackBack