August 29, 2007

E-Comments Are Stupid, Reason #45,672

As regular readers of this humble “weblog” well know, we, the crack young staff of “The Hatemonger’s Quarterly,” compose a weekly essay for the big-time “website” Wizbang. This gig offers us the opportunity to pontificate to a larger group of folks than usually travel to our staid digs on Al Gore’s World-Wide Web.

It also provides readers the ability to supply something missing from our own humble “website”: Wizbang, unlike “The Hatemonger’s Quarterly,” allows its readers to present e-comments on its “posts.” Hence our Sunday animadversions on Wizbang receive all manner of snarky, foolish, and grammatically-challenged commentary.

Now, every once in a while, dear reader, someone or other sends us an e-mail lamenting the lack of e-comments on “The Hatemonger’s Quarterly” “website.” “You should allow us to speak our minds about your ‘posts,’” they argue (minus the inverted commas). Or words to that effect.

In response to such demands, we occasionally savor presenting our readers with particularly inane examples of reader comments from our Wizbang “posts,” which ably demonstrate what “The Hatemonger’s Quarterly” is missing due to its ruthless (we wonder where Ruth is) No Comments Policy.

And the other day we were provided with a stellar exemplum. On Sunday, dear reader, we composed a hum-drum essay for Wizbang entitled “Extreme Opinions, Extreme Ignorance.” As a result of our efforts, we were bestowed with this little bit of e-genius from a reader (ironically) calling himself “civil behavior”:

The Maliki government is falling apart.

It mimics our own.

Both are infected with religious fundamentalists both in power and waiting in the wings to substitute the role of religion for the rule of law.

Both have a tenous [sic] hold on national security and give false reasons for using war as a means of obtaining such.

And the Hatemonger's Quarterly gang thinks they have the answers to both countries by advocating for more testosterone based [sic] antics. We all can see how far that's gotten us already.

Talk about extreme opinions, extreme ignorance.

Foolish stupid [sic] Americanos.

Pretty compelling, is it not? It’s nice to know that the US government is—just like Iraq’s fledgling democracy—“falling apart.” We’ll collectively hold our breath until some totalitarian police state takes the place of our teetering republic.

It also seems entirely reasonable to argue that America’s religious fundamentalists—Christian and not Muslim, naturally—pine to destroy the rule of law in the name of theocracy. We’ll also collectively hold our breath until that winds up happening too.

For some reason, the dunderheaded “civil behavior” doesn’t realize that he just made an argument in favor of a continued American military presence in Iraq—which was the very thing for which he criticized us. After all, since religious fundamentalists pine to destroy Iraq, it seems prudent to stay there and remove this threat. That is to say, to remove the threat of al Qaeda in Iraq and kindred terrorist groups.

But, hey: Don’t listen to us. We, in the inimitable words of “civil behavior,” are “foolish stupid [sic] Americanos.” Unlike “civil behavior,” we understand how to use commas. Yet perhaps that’s just part of our idiocy.

Posted at August 29, 2007 12:01 AM | TrackBack