Happy 4th of July!

We, the crack young staff of “The Hatemonger’s Quarterly,” resolutely refuse to work on holidays. And we mean pretty much any holidays: Arbor Day; Flag Day; Ramadan; Barry Manilow Appreciation Day; Awareness Week Awareness Day—you name it, we take it off.

Accordingly, we shall not be blessing you with our typically uproarious musings today, as this very day marks the birth of our glorious nation. (Or, as our lefty pals would have it, the birth of the most odious country ever to inflict the horrors of neoliberal economics and imperialistic fascism upon the globe.)

So we say Happy Fourth of July to all of our reader(s)! Without getting all Toby Keith on you, may we give thanks to all Americans who have put themselves in harms way for our nation?

Enjoy the holiday. And God bless America.