Obtuse, Thy Name Is Guardian

Well, well, well: Those peaceable Palestinians have gone ahead and inaugurated a civil war. Who would have seen this coming? Certainly not us, given the inestimably high regard accorded to pacifism amongst the Palestinian community. Clearly the Hamas version of Mickey Mouse wouldn’t favor such uncouth intramural violence.

And surely we’re not the only ones who are aghast to discover that the lovely chaps in Hamas are capable of such skullduggery. The Hamasters also appear to have confused our friends in the mainstream media, who are currently grasping at ways to blame Israel and America for the conflagration. Maybe Seymour Hersh could give us some way to shift the responsibility, they must be thinking.

“The international community cut off funds,” say our Palestinian shills. “Obviously they’re responsible for this escalation of violence.”

We suppose that these anti-Israel zealots believe that handing over lots of money to a group of terrorists hell bent on genocide would be a far better thing to do. Sure, there would be no problems if that happened. At least we can’t think of any complications.

Those even mildly familiar with the ranks of Palestinian apologists will be unsurprised to learn that The Guardian demonstrated its typical obtuseness in reaction to the current civil war. The Guardian, for those of you blissfully unaware of it, is London’s answer to Al Ahram. It’s the kind of rag that gives plenty of column space to the loveable scamps in Hamas, to let them dribble their odious propaganda for the UK’s bien pensant morons.

Its first editorial sally into the latest Palestinian perfidy is called “A Pyrrhic Victory,” and can be found amongst its Sunday leaders. (Perhaps this means that it’s officially a staff editorial from The Observer, the Sunday version of The Guardian. But no matter: They’re both owned and run by the same folks.)

The caption underneath this leader says it all:

Hamas: Without unity between Hamas and Fatah, there is no chance of ending the occupation and achieving an independent Palestinian state.

To which we, the crack young staff of “The Hatemonger’s Quarterly,” respond: Well, gee. Do you really think it bursts the dreams of Hamas to learn that they have less of a chance at “achieving an independent Palestinian state”? If you think this, you are officially an idiot.

As everyone living in reality recognizes, Hamas—like Fatah under Yasir “She’s My Baby” Arafat—doesn’t want an independent Palestinian state. It wants all of Israel. It wants genocide. That’s what the Oslo peace process demonstrated. And that’s what the Hamas charter demonstrates.

But the boobs at The Guardian simply can’t help but believe that Hamas wants exactly what they want. For some reason, this delusion is sufficiently strong that no new event will compel them to change their minds. It’s as if they really believed that the powers-that-be in Hamas didn’t realize that their bloody coup in Gaza would make gaining an “independent Palestinian state” less likely.

Well, gee: You don’t say.