Feelin’ the Hate

Whilst we, the crack young staff of “The Hatemonger’s Quarterly,” busily ruminate on our soon-to-be three years on Al Gore’s World-Wide Web, we occasionally enjoy the kindly e-mails we have received from fans worldwide. In addition to all the urgent messages from Nigerian businessmen and helpful tips on dubious non-prescription Viagra, we take in a boatload of heartwarming e-missives each day.

In fact, just a few days ago, someone wrote us a message about a recent “post” of ours, and one of our interns mistakenly deleted it. In our heart of hearts, dear reader, we just know it was chock-a-block with words of effusive praise.

Every once in a great while, however, we, the crack young staff of “The Hatemonger’s Quarterly,” find ourselves on the receiving end of a less gracious e-epistle. Actually, this happens with greater frequency in regard to our official weekend gig.

If you didn’t yet know it, allow us to inform you that every Sunday we offer a sublime “post” for a popular Internet outfit known as Wizbang. So, in addition to savoring our savory musings on this humble “weblog,” you can take in our e-genius at Wizbang as well.

It appears, however, that a few of Wizbang’s readers aren’t particularly sold on the crack young staff. In fact, you might just say that they hate our guts. Which, given the name of our “weblog,” is appropriate.

We recognize this, dear reader, because our “posts” on Wizbang allow reader comments. You know reader comments, don’t you? They’re the grammatically challenged moronic utterings of functionally illiterate buffoons.

Allow us to offer a case in point. In response to a delicious “post” ridiculing overheated media critic Eric Alterman, some fellow called bryanD wrote the following:

I know who Alterman is (humourless, skinflint, politics aside), but these HQ posts, and the HQ site? Is it a secret test bed for some character generator that some high school in Thousand Oaks is sending out? Input Kelsey Grammer manual of style; cross with NRO's The Corner talking points: *fart noise*. It's so consistantly repellent as a Reader, that it must be synthetic. Posted by: bryanD at March 18, 2007 01:36 AM

Well, gosh: How did he know that our humble “weblog” is a “secret test bed for some character generator that some high school in Thousand Oaks is sending out”? We thought that was a secret.

More importantly, what the heck is the complete nincompoop writing? We’re “consistantly [sic] repellent as a Reader”? What the heck does that mean? We think that “bryanD” could learn a thing or two from our Kelsey Grammer Manual of Style—perhaps he might even learn how to write like a non-retard.

Notice how this doofus can’t think of anyone higher-brow than Kelsey Grammer? When coming up with a writer we most resemble, he can’t even think of a writer, but has to go for a television actor instead. Boy, someone is a real intellectual!