Negative Campaigning? You Don’t Say!

Ah, The Huffington Post. Does any other example of Arianna Huffington’s misplaced egotism offer such delicious rewards? We collectively think not. (We’re willing to reconsider, however.)

After all, the ole’ Huffy Po, dear reader, is a veritable cornucopia of dimwitted nonsense. Every once in a great while, to be sure, someone comes along and sullies the fun by writing an intelligent “post.” (We’re looking at you, David Mamet.) Other than that, however, the Huffin’ Pot is a treasure trove of cant.

Don’t believe us? Well, allow us to present you with a splendid example.

Recently, dear reader, a journalist called Mona Gable penned a “post” on The Huffington Post with an uproariously stupid title: “Attacking John Edwards: It’s Only a Matter of Time.” Boy, how’s that for clairvoyance? Gee: A fellow who’s running for the Presidency of the United States may soon be compelled to endure the slings and arrows of negative campaigning? You don’t say! We’ve never heard of such a thing.

We wonder what other article ideas Ms. Gable had. How about a piece called “Evening Is Approaching: It Will Probably Come Right After Day”? Or maybe “I Think You’re Getting Older and Older Every Year—In Fact, Everyone Is”? Obviously, genius just drips from the pores of this lady. No wonder she’s such a top dog in the journalistic rat race—even if we’ve never heard of her.

But that’s not the only thing pathetic about Ms. Gable’s lame article. As an example of liberal boilerplate, it’s thoroughly unremarkable: Everyone’s leaving John Edwards alone for now, it warbles, but soon the Evil Right-Wingers will have to make fun of him. Blah, blah, blah.

Someone ought to tell Ms. Gables that she wrote that solemn plea for decorum on The Huffington Post. This is the Internet lodestone, need we remind her, for readers pining for Dick Cheney’s death. Its writers routinely chastise conservative and centrist political figures in nasty, mean-spirited ways. So pardon us if Ms. Gable’s yearning for Rodney King-like harmony rings a little hollow.

But maybe Ms. Gable is on to something. Perhaps the world ought to have a change of heart. We suggest that all of our thuggish right-wing pals lay off John Edwards—and rip into Mona Gable instead.