Lewis Libby and Leftist Anti-Logic

It’s actually a mite pathetic. Mere hours after the guilty verdict was delivered in the case of I. Lewis “Scooter” Libby, our friends in the leftist “weblogosphere” were jumping for joy. Ah, yes: The disgrace of a man convicted of perjury; if you can’t cheer about that, what can you cheer about?

Forgive us if we find all of these left-wing theatrics a tad ugly. To be sure, responsible organs of the Left—The Washington Post comes to mind—got to the heart of the Libby verdict: No one committed a crime by informing the press of the identity of Joe Wilson’s wife, and former ambassador Wilson is himself an inveterate liar.

True enough. But someone please tell this to the twisted folks on the lefty “weblogs.” For some reason, these batty ideologues are still up in arms about the “leaking” of Valerie Plame’s identity—even though it was clearly Richard Armitage who did the divulging and was not the result of some massive conspiracy brewing in the administration, even though Plame was no longer a covert CIA operative, and even though Wilson himself had previously referred to his wife’s job in public forums.

Ah, but logic does not appear to be a strong suit for many of our pals on the loony Left. Instead of offering careful thoughts about the trial, they seem content to imagine that the guilty verdict is tantamount to a deathblow to the Bush administration.

Frankly, dear reader, it’s difficult to follow their argument. But, such as it is, it appears to go as follows:

I. Lewis “Scooter” Libby, a former aide to Vice President Cheney, was convicted of lying to a grand jury. Accordingly, the Bush administration knowingly misled the public into war in Iraq, has destroyed civil liberties in America, and is bringing about a fascistic empire.

Are we the only ones who don’t see how any of this makes sense? Apparently so: To the darlings who troll around the Huffington Post, this sort of conclusion is taken as gospel.

It just goes to show you how pathetic is the far Left in this country. Bereft of any significant political victories, our lefty pals must imagine that the conviction of “Scooter” Libby amounts to an indictment of the Bush doctrine, the Republican Party, Dick Cheney, apple pie, the Fine Young Cannibals, &c.

To which we, the crack young staff of “The Hatemonger’s Quarterly,” respond: Why stop there? If you are sufficiently unhinged to believe that the Libby trial alone demonstrates the horrors of the Iraq War, we think you’re dumb enough to believe anything. So why not make an even more farfetched argument?

How about this one?

I. Lewis “Scooter” Libby, a former aide to Vice President Cheney, was convicted of lying to a grand jury. Accordingly, the Bush administration knowingly misled the public into war in Iraq, ahs destroyed civil liberties in America, is bringing about a fascistic empire, and, with the help of Fiji, will soon force all Native Americans to disrobe in shopping malls. In addition, the Libby trial demonstrates that George Bush, although claiming to be a Protestant, is actually a Dutch Jewish businessman who has controlled the American government in an attempt to ethnically cleanse the Palestinians.

Now that, we hasten to conclude, is really nuts. Perhaps such thoughts will earn us a guest column at Counterpunch? Or perhaps the approval of Harry Reid?