Nobody Does It Better

We, the crack young staff of “The Hatemonger’s Quarterly,” have a little saying: “When something happens three times, it isn’t a fluke.” Yeah, we know: It isn’t a particularly insightful or original saying, but it’s ours nonetheless. (And maybe it should be Paris Hilton’s too; didn’t her third sex video recently appear on the Internet?)

There is, we must add, a good reason for us to mention this. As dutiful fans of this humble “weblog” well know, we, the crack young staff of “The Hatemonger’s Quarterly,” have been, as they say in Canada, “out and about” these past few days. And in our stead has been the firm yet supple presence of the glorious Maximum Leader.

Longtime aficionados of this humble “weblog” recognize that the good ole’ Large and In Charge Leader—a “weblogger” par excellence—is an Official Honorary Member of the crack young staff. And, unlike Tony Blair, we don’t hand out such awards for a little cash. Sorry, Taki: You have to earn ‘em.

And earn ‘em the Maximum Leader sure did. Whilst we were off contemplating our collective navel, the smashing proprietor of Naked Villainy was busy getting his e-groove on. We think you’ll admit his recent “posts” on this humble “weblog” packed a wallop.

This, moreover, leads us to our little saying—“When something happens three times, it isn’t a fluke.” Thrice now has the Maximum-Sized Leader guest “weblogged” here at “The Hatemonger’s Quarterly.” Thrice now have the same results occurred: Our “hits” counter rises like Paul Begala’s hairline and fan mail comes pouring in like Niagara Falls.

Although we certainly understand why this is so—the Maximum Leader writes some awfully dandy “posts”—we must admit that it leaves us a little malaised. (And mayonnaised, truth be told.) Here we are e-toiling and e-toiling away, with a batch of hate mail and a few curious missives from dubious Nigerian businessmen as our rewards.

And then the Maximum Leader waltzes in here, pens his typically smashing “posts,” and revives our flagging ship. It’s like the guy is some sort of high-paid e-consultant who for some reason never gets paid.

We, dear reader, don’t know about you, but we’re in awe. Suffice it to say, if you are not reading the Leader With the Mostest’s regular musings, you are a fool. You’re just like the people who laughed at Vincent van Gogh—before he cut off his ear.

So get with the program, people. Make Naked Villainy a regular part of your daily routine. Kind of like Metamucil, only not as chalky. You’ll thank yourself for it. We know that we do.