Music Awards

Greetings, loyal readers of The Hatemonger's Quarterly. It is your Maximum Leader once again enjoying another day of guest "weblogging" for the Crack Young Staff. One can only imagine what the Crack Young Staff is doing during their retreat. Your Maximum Leader likes to imagine that they are doing some sort of "fun" team building exercise in the woods somewhere. You know the type. Ropes courses. "Trust" falling. Primal scream therapy. You know that of which your Maximum Leader writes...

Of course, February is generally not the best time for woodland based team building activities. It tends to be cold in North America during this time of year (Former Vice-President Gore not withstanding). So unless the Crack Young Staff were availing themselves of the super discount woodlands team building package, it seems as though we can rule out teambuilding... At least the traditional type... The Crack Young Staff, for all your Maximum Leader knows (or is willing to share) could be off fishing in Costa Rica or preparing for Carnivale in Rio...

But your Maximum Leader digresses...

Your Maximum Leader sees on various news wires and internet services that one of the myriad Los Angeles based awards shows took place last night. This awards show was "The Grammys." Now before he discusses "The Grammys" your Maximum Leader would like to ask a mostly rhetorical question. Were these "THE Grammys" (with emphasis on the "The") or were they "The Latin Grammys" or even the "Daytime Grammys?" How many blasted "Grammys" are there? Are these "Grammys" related in any way to the "Country Music Awards" or the "BET Music Awards" or the "American Music Awards" or the "Bluegrass Music Awards" or even the "Aboriginal People's Choice Music Awards?" Your Maximum Leader isn't sure if these are all separate organizations, or if there is some sort of nefarious (and perhaps incestuous) relationship between all of these groups. Regardless of the relationship (or lack thereof) between these groups, they all seem to be on television at some point...

Well... That last line was your Maximum Leader engaging in a little bit of hyperbole. We all know that the "Bluegrass Music Awards" aren't televised - but the results are broadcast (albeit briefly - between segments - on NPR). And the "Aboriginal People's Choice Music Awards" are only on late at night, once a year, on cable access, in Queensland Australia.

Once again... Your Maximum Leader digresses...

So, anyway... "The (one true original prime-time) Grammys" were last night. According to the gleeful press, big winners at "The Grammys" were a purported musical trio performing under the name "Dixie Chicks." As best your Maximum Leader can tell, this trio might have originally been from "Dixie" and they may have been "Chicks" as well. He says they may have been from "Dixie" because the trio appears to spend lots of time in Los Angeles and Canada. Neither of which, to the best of your Maximum Leader's knowledge is traditionally associated with the south-eastern United States. And he says they may have been "Chicks" at some point, but from the stills your Maximum Leader has seen from the show last night, these "Dixie Chicks" might well have been feminist studies graduate students (and thus ugly - Q.E.D.).

This trio released last year an album entitled "Not ready to make nice." The title was inspired (as it were) from the fact that the "Dixie Chicks" were rather put upon by fellow Texan George W. Bush.

As best your Maximum Leader can make out from the various accounts of the story, President Bush took umbrage to some heartfelt and sincere statements of dissent spoken by the brave "Dixie Chicks" during a concert in London. President Bush then used his expansive interpretations of the powers of the Executive under Article II of the Constitution of the United States to force country music fans to stop buying the Dixie Chicks' albums. President Bush further enflamed the situation by directing the Federal Communications Commission threaten to both fine and revoke the broadcast licenses of any country music radio station that dared to defy his will and play music from the Dixie Chicks. Although he didn't read anything specific about it, your Maximum Leader has it on good authority that the National Security Agency, by way of an illegally granted FISA Court order, was authorized to monitor the phone lines, internet connections, and HiFi Stereo speaker cables of any American who owned (or checked out from a public library) any Dixie Chicks album. These actions made the Dixie Chicks a cause celebre among Hollywood-types (and one supposes music industry types, or whoever determines who the "winners" of these awards should be).

It was natural then that "The Grammys" should use the bully pulpit afforded them by the first Police performance in 20 years to speak against this horrible display of state-sponsored censorship.

At least, that is what your Maximum Leader can piece together from the various accounts he's read. He supposes he'll go back now to listening to old gramophone recordings he's transferred to his iPod.

Carry on.