Reverse “Punk’d”

Boob-tube aficionados are undoubtedly aware of the program “Punk’d,” which appears on an al-Qaeda training network called MTV. The host of the show, who we believe is Demi Moore’s wife, sets up all sorts of shenanigans for unwitting celebrities to walk into.

In short, it’s a vaguely updated version of Alan Funt’s “Candid Camera.” Except the victims of the pranks are usually inveterate B-Listers. And the host seems eerily incapable of controlling the volume of his voice.

In a typical “Punk’d” stunt, some rap star you’ve never heard of—preferably named something like “Chingy-Wingy-Dingy”—is stopped by a truculent police officer, who forces the entertainer to undergo all sorts of minor indignities. The audience laughs at the prank, the rapper is let off the hook, and all is well with the world.

As such, for audience members who like to see celebrities in various uncomfortable situations, but can’t afford those Paris Hilton tapes, “Punk’d” is a mild amusement.

Yet we, the crack young staff of “The Hatemonger’s Quarterly,” think it could be much, much better. In fact, if we owned MTV, we’d start our own rival “Punk’d” program, which would become America’s favorite faster than you can say “Bob Saget getting hit with a hammer.”

(Actually, that’s not technically true: If we owned MTV, we’d shut it down immediately. Or, at least, we’d place a complete ban on the screening of any Nick Lachey videos.)

What’s our idea for a fantastic show on the MTV? Well, dear reader, we’re glad we made you ask.

It’s really quite simple—it’s sort of a reverse “Punk’d.” For, on “Punk’d,” various stars think they are in some sort of sticky situation, only to discover that it was just a gag.

Why not flip the formula around? It would make it much more interesting. In our version of the show, celebrities believe they are the victims of a prank, but they are actually in deep, deep trouble.

Imagine how entertaining that would be! Billy Joel thinks he’s being “Punk’d,” but he’s really about to spend 12 years in a maximum-security prison! Now that’s TV magic!