December 18, 2004
You May Be an Academic
You May Be an Academic Huckster if…
In a few short days, dear reader, we, the crack young staff of “The Hatemonger’s Quarterly,” will no longer be accepting entries to our Official First Annual “Worst Academic Paper Title” Competition (the details of which you can read here). Although we’ve already received a number or entries, and hence the competition, like Delta Burke, is hot and heavy, we hoped that we could drum up a few more submissions.In order to exhort you to send in a ridiculous paper title, we, the crack young staff of “The Hatemonger’s Quarterly,” figured that presenting another example of pseudo-intellectual ridiculousness would do.
Perhaps, dear reader, you have let your subscription to College English lapse. If so, you probably have no idea that this erstwhile fusty publication has become a locus classicus of academic inanity.
If you think this an overdramatic statement, we urge you to take a gander at the November 2004 number of said publication. It contains the following careful lucubration, penned by one Jennifer Beech: “Redneck and Hillbilly Discourse in the Writing Classroom: Classifying Critical Pedagogies of Whiteness.”
Ms. Beech, an assistant professor of English at the University of Tennessee at Chattanooga, is deeply concerned about the influence comedian Jeff Foxworthy has had on our language.
To which we, the crack young staff of “The Hatemonger’s Quarterly,” reply: Aren’t we all? We, in fact, are delighted that someone has finally done the requisite, painstaking research necessary to classify “critical pedagogies of whiteness.” Now if only someone could get around to classifying “critical pedagogies of ridiculous professors who employ fancy terminology to mask their vacuous ideas.” Such a topic may not concern Jeff Foxworthy, but we have a hunch that Ms. Beech will be involved.
So, dear reader, we’ve offered yet another example of academic hucksterism at its finest. All you must do to enter our contest is send us an e-mail by clicking the “Contact Us” link at the top right-hand corner of your computer screen. Our Official Contest Judges are masters of “redneck and hillbilly discourse,” and thus your submission will be in the right hands.
