January 19, 2005

Help Us, Our House Is

Help Us, Our House Is Sad

Over the course of the last week, dear reader, we, the crack young staff of “The Hatemonger’s Quarterly,” have expatiated on various oddities associated with the so-called New Age. In short, we have been poking fun at a bunch of pseudo-spiritual hokum.

And frankly, dear reader, we simply can’t stop ourselves. A few days ago, a regular reader of this humble “weblog,” inspired by our demolition of New Age palaver, sent us the following curious advertisement:

Dr. Patrick MacManaway

Whole Earth Geomancy

working with subtle energy in the home, office and landscape
sick buildings, sad houses, geopathic stress, psychic trauma & spirits
location & creation of sacred space & labyrinths
Feng Shui services
holistic site assessments, domestic, commercial & industrial

Services throughout New England
802-985-2266

Naturally, dear reader, we, the crack young staff of “The Hatemonger’s Quarterly,” were taken aback by Dr. MacManaway’s unusual ad. In fact, even the good doctor’s name seems peculiar: Although around 47 percent of the crack young staff is Irish, we have yet to meet anyone named “MacManaway.” Perhaps it’s a Scottish appellative. But, frankly, around 47 percent of the crack young staff is Scottish.

As far as we’re concerned, “MacManaway” is Gaelic for “Get that man away from me.”

Let us move on, however, from Dr. MacManaway’s name, and discuss more substantive issues. Did the good doctor earn his M.D. in “Feng Shui services”? Where did he do his residency in the “creation of sacred space & labyrinths”?

We’d guess Crete. But, hey, it’s only a guess.

This does not exhaust the peculiarities in this advertisement we wish to discuss. To put it quickly: What the heck is this chucklehead pushing?

Although we’ve seen our share of “sick buildings”—most of them house New Age shops and food co-operatives—we haven’t the vaguest idea what “sad house” is.

Perhaps it’s an abode whose garden only grows melancholy?

Posted at January 19, 2005 12:01 AM | TrackBack