February 25, 2005
The 50,000 Club Recently, dear
The 50,000 Club
Recently, dear reader, we, the crack young staff of “The Hatemonger’s Quarterly,” have passed a milestone. Which, if you come to think of it, is much like passing a gallstone, only a bit more portentous. And a bit less painful.Our humble “weblog,” dear reader, has earned more than 50,000 hits. Although we never collectively patted ourselves on the back for reaching other numbers on the old hit count, we feel as if 50,000 deserves some celebration, however tepid. After all, we’re not talking about 43,298. This is (as American highschool students would put it) the big five-zero-comma-zero-zero-zero-zero.
Naturally, there are reasons to be unimpressed by our glorious feat (or even our glorious feet). After all, many a “Hatemonger’s Quarterly” reader stumbled on our “website” by accident. Having typed in a Google search for something such as “feculent Phil Collins,” they inadvertently wound up at this humble e-address.
In addition, many of the quotidian visitors to “The Hatemonger’s Quarterly” are members of the crack young staff itself. Come to think of it, once you figure in the staff’s sundry family members who routinely check up on its animadversions, we are left with the following tally:
An Impromptu and Informal Tally of Our 50,000 Hits:
Total number of hits from members of the crack young staff: 36,000
Total number of hits from members of the crack young staff’s families: 13,997
Total number of hits from those entirely unrelated to “The Hatemonger’s Quarterly”: 3
Naturally, dear reader, we must thank the three people who troubled themselves to check out “The Hatemonger’s Quarterly.” It is you who made this fruitless endeavor fruitful. You are the veritable wings beneath our veritable wings.
In fact, we see no reason not to thank you personally:
1. Herman Smith of Hackensack, NJ
2. Col. Frederick Blount of Traverse City, MI
3. Edie Jacoby of Trenton, NJ
Apparently we have a rather large following in New Jersey. Anyway, we offer the sincerest thanks to Herman, Frederick, and Edie—if we may address you by your Christian names.
We, the crack young staff of “The Hatemonger’s Quarterly,” earnestly hope that three more people will inadvertently visit our humble “weblog” in the coming months. If so, soon 100,000 hits will come apace.