May 04, 2005

Ten Maoists To the Rescue

Ten Maoists To the Rescue

Many citizens of these here United States of America are undoubtedly familiar with Ward Churchill, the erstwhile chair of Ethnic Studies at the University of Colorado at Boulder. Mr. Churchill, who claimed to be a bona fide Native American, turns out to be as authentically Native American as Silvio Berlusconi.

But Mr. Churchill’s chief claim to fame is an incendiary article, in which he compared the victims of 9/11 to reviled Nazi war criminal Adolf Eichmann. Since this charming example of professorial obtuseness came to light, Mr. Churchill has been the whipping boy of many conservative pundits and columnists.

The American Left, to its credit, has mostly kept its mouth shut: Churchill is obviously a moral cretin, and there seems to be little reason to defend his vacuous sermonizing.

That is, dear reader, until now. Recently, the headquarters of “The Hatemonger’s Quarterly” received the April 15-30, 2005 number of MIM Notes: The Official Newsletter of the Maoist Internationalist Movement (MIM). And said issue offers a ringing endorsement of Mr. Churchill’s “thought.”

We know what you are thinking, dear reader: Now that a respected heavy-hitter in the American political establishment has backed Ward Churchill, the unsavory likes of The Wall Street Journal editorial page and Bill O’Reilly are bound to back off.

After all, this is the celebrated Maoist Internationalist Movement we’re talking about. This isn’t some pathetic grouping of the lunatic fringe in support of a manifestly discredited ideology. No, sir! These are the folks who label America “Amerika,” call women “wimmin,” and even rail against Hillary Klinton. No passel of marginalized kooks here.

For those of you unaware of the political and cultural power that is the Maoist Internationalist Movement, we refer you to a discussion we offered some time ago in this space on MIM’s stirring film reviews. It seems as if our friends at MIM found Patch Adams insufficiently revolutionary.

That’s funny: We, the crack young staff of “The Hatemonger’s Quartelry,” didn’t like Patch Adams either. But it didn’t have anything to do with its insufficiently “progressive” message. Rather, we thought that it sucked. And, to make matters worse, Robin Williams was in it; he makes all thoughtful people immediately break out in hives.

Clearly, dear reader, the Maoist Internationalist Movement is a force to be reckoned with. Or, as our grammatical sticklers would put it, it is a force with which to be reckoned.

And so, dear reader, it was with great excitement that we read “Report from Boston Campaign for Churchill,” which offers a scintillating look at MIM’s Bay State protest in favor of the inflammatory ersatz Indian.

The first sentence of said article speaks volumes about the political wrecking ball that is MIM:

CAMBRIDGE, MA April 16—The rally for Ward Churchill at Harvard University had a disappointing turnout of 10 people, but the basis for future work is in place with hundreds of Boston area signatures collected and a five digit figure of posters, flyers and newspapers going out.

10 measly people? Oh, come on: Mao killed more than 10 people every quarter second. What kind of Communist movement has less public support than a Benedict Arnold fan club?

If you can’t get more than 10 people to join your Maoist organization in the People’s Republic of Cambridge, what chances do you have outside Massachusetts’ answer to Stalingrad?

But just wait, dear reader: The article somehow manages to become even more humorous:

Not all reactions to the Ward Churchill campaign are positive. One passer-by said Ward Churchill “should be executed.” One womyn [sic] walking through Harvard Yard said she wished she could fire him herself and another womyn [sic] said much the same.

Well, gee. Some people don’t take too kindly to Mr. Churchill’s likening of the victims of terrorism to Nazis. Who would have thunk it?

We suppose that MIM, when it takes over the world, will have these people killed first.

Posted at May 4, 2005 12:01 AM | TrackBack