More Business Genius from the Crack Young Staff

Oh, it was bound to happen. Perhaps you have heard, dear reader, that a volume called The Dangerous Book for Boys is all the rage. It seems as if everyone with a male child—and more than a few without, we’d wager—simply must get their hands on this neo-Victorian activity book.

As sure as death and taxes, moreover, feminists complained that this tome was disgracefully sexist. After all, it’s explicitly aimed at the stronger sex. How retardataire! (Apparently, our feminist friends aren’t too worried about women’s gyms and women’s colleges, the existence of which never seem to earn their ire.)

Accordingly, dear reader, we were thoroughly unsurprised to learn about The Daring Book for Girls, which is clearly an attempt to make some extra cash off of this whole fusty tomes for the young ‘uns craze. We’re sure that the Andrea Dworkins of the world can rest a little easier, knowing that a distaff answer to that misogynist volume for lads has appeared. (Although we’d bet that our feminist pals would like to see “killing of men” as an activity in The Daring Book for Girls. Now that’s daring.)

Still, we, the crack young staff of “The Hatemonger’s Quarterly,” do not think that publishers have made all the money one can from this sudden interest in turning children into dignified Edwardian tykes. A few years in American higher education has led us to propose another in the Daring and Dangerous Books series.

We call our creation The Darling Book for Hermaphrodites and we think it’ll sell like hotcakes—especially on college campuses with an LGBTQ center (that is to say, all campuses but Hillsdale and Baylor). Doesn’t it sound simply grand? After all, why can’t your little hermaphrodite read about the sort of activities that will make him/her into a fine Victorian man and/or woman?

We can’t think of a reason either.

Just think of the fun activities the book could promote. Given the origin of the word hermaphrodite, clearly a little Greek mythology is in order.

But why stop there? The tome could teach the budding he/she about some of the world’s most storied hermaphrodites in history.

You know: Like Andy Dick.