The Totalitarianism of the Hard Left

As typical Americans inhabiting a populous locale, we, the crack young staff of “The Hatemonger’s Quarterly,” must oft take in the mindless protests of radical leftists. Although we don’t run into such blights with great frequency, we’ve certainly seen our share of “No War for Oil” hullabaloos.

Frankly, dear reader, few things rankle as much as dimwitted people chirpily displaying dimwitted slogans. “Make Houses Not War”; “Bush Lied, Millions Died”; “Impeach Cheney”—these are the moronic slogans of the politically un-thoughtful.

But surely chief among the cardinal concerns of the hard Left in this country are civil liberties. As you surely know, our radical buddies bleat on and on about the totalitarian nightmare that the US is becoming under President Bush. Why, the government actually spies on telephone calls to suspected al Qaeda operatives! Perish the thought.

Naturally, though, the purported hard Left regard for civil liberties is merely hogwash. In reality, radical leftists don’t care a jot about civil liberties. Rather, they muster phony complaints about them in order to fling mud at their political opponents.

In fact, radical leftists chiefly pine for full governmental control of people’s lives and an extreme—and perpetual—redistribution of income. In the grand scheme, civil liberties mean nothing to them.

Allow us to prove our point. The recent press on Venezuela’s Hugo Chavez is ominous. In just the past few months, we’ve read reports that paint a picture of a left-wing strongman who’s blatantly scheming for more and more power.

Mr. Chavez has, for instance, declared that he will kick foreigners out of his country for proving too critical of his government. He also aims to shut down media outlets critical of his rule. And, as The Wall Street Journal noted recently, Mr. Chavez has suggested alterations to the Venezuelan constitution that would erase presidential term limits.

Just imagine, dear reader, if President Bush did any of these things. Just imagine if he did anything even remotely like these things. What would the far Left say about that?

Yet our left-wing friends are willing to sweep these troubling facts under the rug in order to cheerlead for their beloved Saint Hugo. He’s a proto-totalitarian aiming at a lifelong dictatorship. But, because he is a left-wing proto-dictator, hypocritical leftists such as the Joe Dirt-coiffed John Pilger love him dearly.

Any time a Chavez supporter natters on about the death of American civil liberties, you know that he’s a liar. He’s just mad that the US government isn’t sufficiently left-wing for his liking.