The Root Cause of This Kind of Terrorism

Like everyone else on Al Gore’s World-Wide Web, we, the crack young staff of “The Hatemonger’s Quarterly,” get some of our news from a dubious “website” called the Drudge Report. The information found on said “website” may not be true, but at least its quickly delivered, which matters a heck of a lot more these days.

A little while ago, dear reader, we spied a particularly interesting—albeit horrific—“link” on the ole’ Drudgster. The Houston Chronicle reports that an explosive device was discovered at an abortion clinic in Austin, TX. Thankfully, it was removed before anyone was harmed.

Now, from the outset, we must say that we consider ourselves pro-choice. If you ask us, abortion is murder, and we’re for it. Not, we must add, so-called partial birth abortion, which the devout Catholic Nancy Pelosi greatly esteems. But, in general, we think abortion ought to be legal—and rare. (Gosh: Don’t we sound like Hillary?)

We suppose, however, that this is neither here nor there in regard to what we’re about to discuss. Ever since Islamic terrorism has been on the mainstream media’s radar screens, we’ve been bombarded (if you will) with all sorts of apologias for this nefarious evildoing.

According to the likes of Michael Scheuer, former CIA incompetent and current anti-Semitic conspiracy-theorist and incompetent, the Islamist terrorists are merely acting defensively: If the West were smart enough to remove all non-Muslim troops from the Arabian peninsula and allow the Israelis to be massacred to a man, all would be well with the world.

To other—equally moronic—commentators, Islamic radicals kill because of the horrors of Third-World poverty. If it weren’t for the twin evils of capitalism and globalization, such impoverished folks as Osama bin Laden would finally be able to eat three square meals a day and finally put down their weapons.

If you ask us, all of this caterwauling in response to Muslim terrorism isn’t just insane—although it is that. It also mindlessly blames the West for all the sins of our Muslim brethren. To the Michael Scheuers and Barbara Ehrenreichs of the world, nothing in the world happens which is not ultimately the fault of the real Evil Empire: America.

And this brings us—admittedly long-windedly—to our question: Whose fault is it that an enraged pro-life maniac planted a bomb outside an abortion clinic? If the United States is to blame when it finds itself the victim of a terrorist attack, are our pro-life friends to blame for this work of evil? Why not?

Maybe we could take a page out of Michael Scheuer’s book and say: Hey, the pro-life folks are just angry about females’ access to abortion. If we could drastically curtail this access—or, better yet, cut it off altogether—we’d have nothing to worry about. Sound good?

Why do we doubt that the Barbara Ehrenreichs of the world will capitulate to the forces of the pro-life movement as readily as they bow down to al Qaeda?