Faux Liberal Nostalgia

Remember, dear reader, when our lefty pals considered Ronald Reagan the very embodiment of the anti-Christ? We sure do. Back in his presidential days, poor Ronald Reagan found himself on the receiving end of endless amounts of withering liberal scorn.

“That idiot will bring us to nuclear war!” “That moron’s an actor; he doesn’t know what the heck he’s doing!” “That fool will starve us all!” These were just a handful of—comparatively respectful—taunts that President Reagan had to endure.

We, the crack young staff of “The Hatemonger’s Quarterly,” mention this, dear reader, because these days you might have forgotten that anyone disesteemed the charming Ronald Reagan. After a solid decade of arguing that President Reagan was a mixture of Mao, Stalin, and a retarded sixth-grader all in one, our lefty pals suddenly look back upon his years in office with what appears to be genuine nostalgia.

It’s curious, is it not? Sure, they might have reason for feeling a bit of latter-day respect for Reagan. After all, whilst our liberal buddies were mindlessly plumping for a nuclear freeze (read: Utter capitulation to Communism), President Reagan went about ending the Cold War and freeing millions. Further, Reagan’s formerly controversial economic policies have been—to a greater or lesser extent—adapted by governments worldwide.

But our friends on the Left haven’t let Reagan’s triumphs determine their belated embrace of him. No, no, no: They simply use him as a counterpoise for their new Presidential Enemy Number One—Chimpy McHitler himself, George W. Bush.

You know the old saw: At least Ronald Reagan had some good points, argue our lefty buddies. Sure, he didn’t fund dental dam research as much as you might want, but, heck, he was right about the Soviets. It turns out that they were somewhat, uh, bad. In fact, Reagan makes Bush look like a fascist. Blah, blah, blah.

Thus does the Left’s former neo-Hitler give way to the new neo-Hitler. And never, of course, will the lefties admit that they were wrong in their former estimation of Ronald Reagan. Nope: They just press on with their most recent example of vilification.

There will come a day, dear reader, when liberals reflect on the dreaded George W. Bush and say something such as: “Well, he was incompetent, and the Iraq War was a disaster. But, gee: At least Bush had principles. In comparison with the contemporary Republican Party, he seems like a breath of fresh air.”

Oh, it seems far off in the distance now—and it is. But mark our words: It’ll come.

Yet don’t bother to wait for our lefty pals to apologize for their brutal excoriation of the current Commander-in-Chief. They’ll be too busy with their latest straw man to make amends.