The Ultimate Selfish Act

Regular visitors to sundry political “websites” on Al Gore’s World-Wide Web undoubtedly recognize that partisan hacks delight on offering examples of the insipid comments found on their ideological opponents’ “weblogs.” Accordingly, one routinely finds left-leaning “weblogs” ranting about the stupid comments found on, say, Little Green Footballs. And one routinely finds right-leaning “weblogs” raving about the moronic comments found on, say, the Daily Kos.

To be honest, dear reader, we, the crack young staff of “The Hatemonger’s Quarterly,” have taken part in this tired political theater in the past. In fact, seldom does a month go by without our taking potshots at some moronic left-wing commenter or other.

A recent perambulation round the Internet, however, has given us reason to pause for reflection. We happened upon a comment so bizarre and stupid that it made us think anew about our earlier practice. Of course, ridiculing dumb comments is much like shooting fish in a barrel—from what we can tell, neither side of the political spectrum has a monopoly on intelligence. Or a lack of intelligence, to be more precise.

But this galactically obtuse comment compelled us to wonder whether many who leave comments on “weblogs” are just plain Grade-A nincompoops. We think it’ll make you reflect on the same thing.

We, the crack young staff of “The Hatemonger’s Quarterly,” found this dimwitted message on—wait for it—The Huffington Post. On said “website,” some boring feminist or other wrote a piece called “A Feminist’s Transformation.”

Frankly, dear reader, we didn’t read much of the “post.” Something about the words “feminist” and “transformation” forces our eyes to glaze over. We think it’s some sort of medical condition.

But the first response to this ho-hum “post” was anything but ho-hum. Penned by someone calling himself/herself Merlin7, it reads as follows:

Having a child, especially intentionally, is a selfish act in this crowded world. Unfortunately, it also is akin to acquiring a new car, as children have become lifestyle accessories.

Also, a woman's deciding to have a child usually involves duping some unsuspecting male into participating in the mating ritual, including marriage, one of the most destructive institutions of our time.

If you insist on having a baby, by all means get the sperm from a sperm bank or willing donor who is not roped in emotionally and legally. Then be prepared to raise the child alone without whining about your plight.

By: Merlin7 on March 18, 2007 at 03:26pm

Wow: We’ve seen lots of dumb comments in our day, but this one may just take the proverbial cake.

We don’t know what this fellow’s (or, much less likely, woman’s) politics are, but he seems fairly opinionated. After all the list of things he dislikes includes: Children, new cars, marriage, and “the mating ritual.”

Well, at least he doesn’t have it in for sperm banks. And, heck, at least he perceives that having a child unintentionally is slightly less “selfish” than—dare we say it—wittingly procreating. (Would he care to tell that to our Islamic pals, who are procreating far faster than are we in the self-loathing West?)

We don’t want to go out on a limb here, but it strikes us as if Merlin7 is an angry unwed fellow who’s never dated and rides a bike to work. Oh, and a big fan of The Huffington Post.

Coincidence?