The 200,000 "Hits" Club

Yeah, that’s right: We made it. In a little over two-and-a-half years on Al Gore’s Internet, this humble “weblog” has earned 200,000 “hits.” Not too shabby, eh? You never thought we could do it, did you? You unsupportive bastard.

Yup, that’s 200,000 “hits” in the bag, baby. If we recall our perusals of athletes’ poorly written memoirs correctly, we’ve just landed more e-visits than Wilt Chamberlain landed ladies.

And who had more fun? Whilst ole’ Wilt was off a-fornicating, we, the crack young staff of “The Hatemonger’s Quarterly,” were busy penning devastatingly brilliant “posts” about all and sundry. Yes, that probably means Wilt had more fun. But, hey, we come in a not-too-distant second.

Frankly, dear reader, we never imagined we’d make it this far. Or this long: Writing tasteless yuks and pointless rants every weekday isn’t easy. Thankfully, our staff of well over 250 lads and lasses helps keep our operation in tip-top form. We like to think of ourselves as the World-Wide Web’s answer to Arnold Schwarzenegger: A well-oiled machine. Or, failing that, the Internet’s answer to Marv Albert: Well-oiled.

Now, before you get concerned about today’s festival of self-congratulations, we must say that our e-success won’t go to our heads. We fully realize that a real well-traveled “website”—say Glenn Reynold’s Instapundit or any pornographic “site” devoted to midgets—garners around 200,000 "hits" per diem.

As impressed as we think we may be, we must realize that our humble “weblog” probably doesn’t reach as many readers as the ravings of Lyndon LaRouche. And that doesn’t say too much for us: After all, unlike Mr. LaRouche, we’ve never run for president from prison.

Further, we suppose we ought to mention that many of our “hits”—perhaps a larger number than we’d care to admit—actually stem from the crack young staff itself. Unsurprisingly, we like to check up on our earth-shattering animadversions each day, and that on its own racks up a lot of e-visits.

Accordingly, instead of incessantly patting ourselves on our collective back, perhaps we ought to thank the three or four people who actually trouble themselves to read the horse manure we “post” every day. With your help, we’ve made this little corner of the Internet only slightly more popular than a “weblog” entirely devoted to the discussion of monkeys.

So, gee, thanks. We never could have done it without you.

Well, actually we could have, but it would have taken about three more months.