Feel the Power of the Crack Young Staff

Less than two days—fewer than 48 hours. Less than the amount of time it feels like when you sit through the movie Waterworld. This, dear reader, is how long it took the crack young staff to force Glenn Reynolds’ hand.

As e-strollers all round the Internet well know, yesterday afternoon Mr. Reynolds, under what we can only describe as feverish pressure, caved into our hunger strike’s demands and gave us our Instalanche. For the price of a Yom Kippur-and-a-half, we, the crack young staff of “The Hatemonger’s Quarterly,” got our much-sought-after “link.” And darn it if it doesn’t feel really good.

Naturally, our brazen display of Internet power will have other “weblogs” nervous. We don’t blame them: A successful hunger strike in less than two days?

How long did it take Gandhi’s hunger strike to compel the British to leave India? We’re not sure, but we bet it was longer than two days. Accordingly, we feel fully justified in asserting that we’re currently more powerful than Gandhi.

And just as magnanimous. Sure, we could have stooped to some World-Wide Web violence in order to secure our goals; we could have been the Internet version of the Tamil Tigers. But no: We took the morally laudable route, employing creative non-violence to get Mr. Reynolds to cave.

At this time of vindication, dear reader, we would feel remiss if we did not heartily thank Mr. Reynolds. It must have been a difficult decision for him: Does he let the crack young staff starve or does he send us a “pointless link”? The campaign from our boosters such as Dan Riehl, Dr. Rusty, the Llamas, and others couldn’t have made his work easy for him. But we think he made the right call.

In fact, in order to thank Mr. Reynolds for his kindness, we, the crack young staff of “The Hatemonger’s Quarterly,” want to repay the favor. It’s the least that we can do.

So, Mr. Reynolds, here you go: A “link” from the crack young staff. Around the office, we like to call it a “Hate-lanche.”

Man, he’ll watch his “hits” just roll on in.