A Picture Is Now Worth Three Words

Many right-leaning “webloggers” have harped and harpied on the recent Reuters “fauxtography” scandal du jour. And rightly so: We, the crack young staff of “The Hatemonger’s Quarterly,” have long considered Reuters disturbingly tilted in its coverage, and we believe that the exposure of their photographic fraud is deeply important.

In fact, we’re delighted that savvy Internet sleuths have taken it upon themselves to find even more examples of fraud—in The New York Times, US News & World Report, and elsewhere. The more damning evidence they dig up, the more the silence of the left-wing “weblogosphere” seems ridiculous. Aiding and abetting the destroyers of civilization keep on getting more nettlesome.

Even so, we, the crack young staff of “The Hatemonger’s Quarterly,” pined to offer our own two cents on the matter. Yet, quite frankly, we don’t have our own examples of mainstream media malfeasance, which would ensure all kinds of “hits” and “links.” Further, we’re not exactly quick to respond to this whole brouhaha: Most “webloggers” have been writing about the matter for umpteen days now.

Nevertheless, what we sacrifice in diligence and timeliness we more than make up for with peculiarity. For, instead of offering yet another jeremiad against the dreaded MSM, we’ve decided to present a very different take. That’s the kind of thing you like about us, we surmise.

As far as we’re concerned, the whole Reuters and Assorted Mainstream Mediagate Fiasco (as we’ve taken to call it) has yet to inspire any comment on a particularly pressing issue. That is, until now.

Everyone is likely familiar with the old cliché “a picture is worth a thousand words.” It’s a strange phrase, to be sure, since it is difficult to compute the calculus by which the number one thousand was happened upon. But, hey: “That’s the way the cookie crumbles” isn’t exactly a brilliant bromide either, even though it’s a tasty one.

But, with there now being such a hullabaloo regarding the news media’s photographs of the Israel-Hezbollah conflict, we, the crack young staff of “The Hatemonger’s Quarterly,” firmly believe that the “a picture is worth a thousand words” should be officially downgraded. That is to say, from now on, we would appreciate it if you would eschew this phrase in favor of one of the following:

1) A picture is worth five words, and those five words are “Reuters is full of garbage.”
2) A Photoshopped picture is worth a thousand words on Little Green Footballs.
3) A picture is still worth a thousand words, provided it doesn’t come from the Middle East and pertain to Israel.
4) CAIR is an organization of Islamic fascists who support terrorism.

Now, we know what you’re going to say: That fourth statement isn’t even related to the whole Reuters brouhaha. To which we respond: Yeah, you’re right, but you can never say it enough.