August 10, 2006

Playing Catch-Up

As regular readers of “The Hatemonger’s Quarterly,” well know, we have just returned from a resplendent week-long vacation. In our absence, the delicious Maximum Leader warmed the cockles of your hearts with his merry animadversions.

But now, dear reader, we’re back, and we, like Charlie Sheen, are in full swing. We don’t want to drop too many journalistic buzzwords on you, but we are, as they say, ready to write.

In fact, we, the crack young staff of “The Hatemonger’s Quarterly,” figured that we’d use today’s humble “post” to play a bit of catch-up—the favorite game of John Kerry’s spouse. (Geddit?) That is to say, we’d mention some of the stories that we’ve missed in the past week as the result of our smashing vacation.
We figured that this would be a great service to you all, since many of our readers likely peruse “The Hatemonger’s Quarterly” as their only news source. And God loves you for it.

So, in an effort to aid our undying (and moribund) fans, we offer the following list of “While We Were Out Catch-Up Tidbits”:

An Official List of “Hatemonger’s Quarterly” “While We Were Out Catch-Up Tidbits”:

1) It appears that Mel Gibson is something of an inebriated anti-Semite. Frankly, we never would have seen that one coming. After all, what film he produced would ever suggest that he loathes Jews with such a passion? Yeah: We’re stumped too.

2) Reuters “news” service offers faked photographs designed to aid Hezbollah and Hamas against civilization. That’s another surprise, isn’t it? We never would have guessed that this mindlessly anti-Western outfit would do such a thing. Go figure.

3) Hezbollah apologists and Israel-haters worldwide are interchangeably cheering on anti-American, anti-Israel terrorism and whining about the Western response to these malefactions. Ah, craven propagandists for evil—we really missed that on our vacation.

4) Now that witless squillionaire Ned Lamont has won the Connecticut Democratic senatorial primary, the Iraq War will end within two days. Thanks for your help, Democrats of Connecticut!

Posted at August 10, 2006 12:01 AM | TrackBack