August 04, 2006

We're Number One?

Greetings, loyal readers of The Hatemonger's Quarterly. It is, one last time this week, your Maximum Leader on the final day of his gig as guest weblogger. On Monday, The Crack Young Staff will return. Your Maximum Leader is sure that they will be rested, tanned, and ready to regale us all with humorous animadversions and observations on current events and such.

Your Maximum Leader doffs his bejeweled floppy cap in the direction of the whole Staff in thanks for entrusting him with the proverbial keys to their kingdom. He hopes that his posts satisfied all of you out there lurking in the ether of Albert Gore's Internet. Perhaps he'll be back next year...

For this final guest post, your Maximum Leader is throwing his hands up in disgust. Disgust at his fellow countrymen. Over the course of our long and illustrious national history Americans have been first at so many things. We were the first truly democratic republic in the world. We were the greatest industrial power in the world for generations. We were first with The Bomb. We were first on the moon. And we were first among all the nations in the world in terms of vice.

You name the vice, and Americans were best at it. Drinking - gotcha covered. Overeating - don't get between us and a $7.99 all-you-can-eat buffet. Gambling - well hell we have Las Vegas... What more need be said?

Well... It looks like we've got some competition in the vice department. Your Maximum Leader is sure that all the readers of this space have heard about how jobs are going overseas. Cheap labor. High quality means of production. Slave labor. Jobs are being outsourced all over. Now it seems, just like all the high tech jobs, textile jobs, and manufacturing jobs, the gaming industry is being outsourced to China.

According to the AP news wire services, some outfit called Globalysis has determined that the Chinese city of Macau will overtake Las Vegas NEXT YEAR in terms of gambling revenue. Next year? This is not to say that Las Vegas will collapse immediately and fall into the dust of the desert. But they will not be number one any more.

It seems like just a few years ago that Macau was just a sleepy Portuguese colony which had existed for 100 years as a shadowy step sister of Hong Kong. Now all of a sudden it is Asia's high rollers retreat. It is the Kung-Pao City of Sin. Lucky for us catchy phrases like "What happens in Macau stays in Macau" just isn't as catchy as "What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas."

One must stop to wonder what those crafty Chinese Communists are thinking. How exactly can their workers paradise be host to the world's largest gaming destination? How exactly does the vanguard of the proletariat happen to come by the capital needed to waste away $500-a-hand at Twenty-one? Other than gambling are there other vices in Macau? Topless revues? $7.99-all-you-can-eat-lobster and steak buffets? Shopping at swanky boutiques? The mind boggles at the possibilities.

What exactly are the casinos like in Macau? We know that in Vegas you can gamble in casinos with various themes. You can gamble like a Roman Emperor, or an Egyptian Pharaoh. You can imagine you are in New York, Paris, Venice, or even Camelot. What are the themed casinos in Macau like? Is there an Opium Den casino? A Great Wall betting parlour? An era of colonial domination casino? A Cultural Revolution gaming palace? The possibilities are endless.

Your Maximum Leader is saddened by Vegas being eclipsed by Macau. One wonders if in a few years there will be anything left to be proud of in America.

Thank you for your kind attention.

Carry on.

Posted at August 4, 2006 12:51 AM | TrackBack