One-Track Ponies?

Longtime reader(s) of this humble “weblog” most assuredly know that we, the crack young staff of “The Hatemonger’s Quarterly,” thoroughly enjoy discussing all and sundry. In fact, our unofficial Internet slogan is “Bring It On.”

Thus, in marked contrast to, say, a “website” entirely devoted to monkeys, “The Hatemonger’s Quarterly” finds no topic either too small or too grand to warrant our avoidance. In short, we, the crack young staff of “The Hatemonger’s Quarterly,” are jacks-of-all-trades, masters of golf.

Recently, however, the careful reader may have noted that we’ve become distressingly mono-focused. You might even say we’re myopic. Yeah: You probably wouldn’t, but you might.

Ever since those horrid Israelis had the temerity to defend themselves from terrorist attacks, we’ve devoted most of our energies to this particular matter. This is, interestingly, not the case with the lefties at The New York Times op-ed page; apparently Maureen Dowd hasn’t come up with a cute lil’ nickname for Ehud Olmert a la Rummy and Bushy. Our loss, eh?

To be downright honest, dear reader, we really don’t want to send so much time offering our views on the terrorists of Hezbollah and Hamas. We’d much prefer to wax judgmental about the horrors of, say, Enya, or, say, Whole Foods. After all, a little variety adds spice to life. Or something.

But we simply can’t help ourselves. The left-wing position on the current Israel-Hezbollah brouhaha is so outrageously stupid that it positively begs for comment. We mean, come on: A bunch of atheistic, abortion-crazy, feminist libertines warmly embracing militant Islamic fascists who aim to oppress everyone with Sharia law—does it get any crazier than this? If you ask us, not much.

Of course, as civilized people, we, the crack young staff of “The Hatemonger’s Quarterly,” hope that the Israelis defeat their terrorist enemies, and ensure that they will remain safe and sound. In addition, we also hope, dear reader, that some other things will pop up in the news, and thus we’ll have a few more things to discuss.

You know: Can’t some stripper lie about being raped by a gaggle of lacrosse players? That would make for some compelling television and much liberal hand-wringing. Nothing beats listening to a room full of academics discuss such things: The ultra-moronic Houston Baker is worth the price of admission alone.