Riding a Cycle of Violence into the Sunset

As e-proprietors of a “weblog” called “The Hatemonger’s Quarterly,” we are naturally irked by many things. And this includes, of course, locutions; various hip words and neologisms trouble us, sometimes deeply.

For instance, there are the following: “Diversity”; “a teachable moment”; “Billy Joel.” Any sane person (read: Non-academic) should feel his skin crawl upon hearing such ugly words. (Apparently Christie Brinkley wasn’t that sane in the 80’s.)

But surely one of the most wretched and overused phrases these days comes from the mouths and keyboards of sanctimonious journalists and talking heads. We refer to the ridiculous locution “cycle of violence.”

We, the crack young staff of “The Hatemonger’s Quarterly,” respectfully request that this pathetic phrase be struck from all people’s vocabulary. Not only is it a deceptive little bugger, but also it is almost always used inappropriately, to discuss situations for which “cycle of violence” does not at all fit.

The other day, in fact, we saw a report in The Wall Street Journal discussing the “cycle of violence” in Iraq. This is exactly wrong. It’s employed as if the violence would immediately cease if the allied forces weren’t so bent on capturing terrorists. Ah, yes: Once America hands over Iraq to various terrorist outfits, Iraq should see true peace.

What moron would believe this? What moron would so characterize the delicate situation in Iraq? Apparently, the answer to that query is: The Wall Street Journal.

And let’s not forget the incessant use of “cycle of violence” for the Israeli-Palestinian conflict. Indeed, if the Israelis did not respond to Palestinian terrorism, the so-called “cycle of violence” would end—after the Palestinians murdered millions of Jews. Which, we suppose, is exactly what those Americans unaligned with the “Jewish Lobby” desire.

If you ask us, a better phrase for the Israeli-Palestinian situation would be “unicycle of violence”: You’ve got one people (those peaceable Palestinians) hell-bent on violence, and the violence would cease if they stopped it.

Further, we suppose we should note that the very phrase “cycle of violence” has a sickeningly condescending air to it: It’s the perfect hippie locution—both peacenik and holier-than-thou. The deluded fellow misusing the phrase gets to simmer in his own righteousness, as if he were not merely reporting the news, but offering a greater understanding of it than those dimwitted people who are foolishly trying to target terrorists.

For these reasons, dear reader, we believe that anyone employing “cycle of violence” would be better suited to ride said cycle out of American discourse. And take “diversity” with you, if you’ll be so kind.