“The Hatemonger’s Quarterly” Second Anniversary Soiree

Boy, oh, boy, dear reader, it’s been quite a weekend. Although we, the crack young staff of “The Hatemonger’s Quarterly,” have all made it to work in one piece (more or less), we have the distinct impression that today won’t be particularly productive. If, in regard to productivity, we’re usually a Poland, today we’ll be more Papua New Gineau.

And can you blame us? After all, we are still recovering from Friday night’s gala—the Second Annual “Hatemonger’s Quarterly” Soiree. Some of the greatest “webloggers” on Al Gore’s World-Wide Web were in attendance, and countless others vainly attempted to get past the clipboard Nazis and enjoy the festivities.

Like darn near every other hyped-up event, our fete denied entrance to Wonkette, the self-impressed, nose-picking ninny whose recent “novel” isn’t worth the paper it’s printed on. Try though she might, this gossip-mongering dipstick couldn’t get anywhere near the party: We’d sooner invite Idi Amin; and he’s dead.

So, you may reasonably wonder, who did attend? Well, it was a cast of characters, to be sure. To satiate your curiosity, dear reader, we suppose we ought to mention a few of the more notable guests.

About a half-hour early, a dapper and shaven Mr. Misspent stumbled into the hall. Although this may seem odd under other circumstances, one must realize that the Misspent One is a graduate student, and therefore in search of free food. He gobbled up plates full of tasty tidbits, and was peculiarly attached to a particular cottage cheese dish. To each his own, we suppose.

We must mention that Gordon, everyone’s favorite Cranky Neocon, was also in attendance. Devotees of “weblogs” have sorely missed Gordo’s quotidian musings on all and sundry: Thankfully, his perch atop the Six Meat Buffet allows us to get some of our fill. And got our fill we did, thanks to Gordo’s fancy-pants three piece number.

Nor should we forget the appearance of the magnanimous Maximum Leader, who was joined once again by Dead Sexy Sadie. In honor of the festivities, the Maximum Leader wore his black bejeweled, floppy hat, which was a big hit with all the minions. And may we say that Sadie looks even better in formal wear than her cartoon countenance would suggest? As a 1973 Chevy Nova might say, Va-va-va-voom!

The llamas were there, of course, dressed to the nines or nine-thirties. It is odd to see wooly creatures clad in silk formal wear. But, darn, they looked good.

Gosh, and there’s so many more to mention: John from Wuzzadem, who looks alarmingly like Mr. Stick Figure, e-stud Stephen Baldwin, who came across less like Stephen and more Stephenesque; Mr. and Mrs. P, who are as proper and delightful as they come; Lynn Sislo in an fetching outfit that seemed like an homage to Schoenberg; good old aelfheld, who, as usual, looked immaculate; Phin, clad in a delightfully shiny gold suit; et al.

As you can well imagine, dear reader, it was quite an event. Perhaps the only glitch in the evening was the choice of the guest speaker: Who would have thought that Cindy Sheehan would prove so unpopular? Go figure.