December 25, 2005

Merry Christmas from the Crack Young Staff

We, the crack young staff of “The Hatemonger’s Quarterly,” would be remiss if we did not wish you, our semi-loyal reader(s), a very merry Christmas. Naturally, it would be downright odious of us not to do so. In addition, we’d be certain to face a rather nasty boycott from the likes of Bill O’Reilly. And, hey, we only have three readers a week; do we really need to alienate two of them?

That said, dear reader, what is Christmas without presents? As un-American as curling and Molson, we’d say. Eh.

Accordingly, we, the crack young staff of “The Hatemonger’s Quarterly,” thought long and hard about an appropriate gift we might bestow upon our colossal readership. At first, we figured saltwater taffy would fit the bill. Who doesn’t love taffy? But then wiser minds—and our orthodontist—prevailed. Think of all those fillings destroyed.

Instead, then, we figured we’d offer you the gift of “links.” Sounds pretty cheap of us, doesn’t it? Well, we suppose that this is one way to put it.

But, to us, it’s one of the most heartwarming and beauteous gifts one can bestow (and it’s free). Below you will find some “links” to marvelous “Weblogs,” which we read religiously. If you aren’t checking them out, we humbly suggest you do so posthaste. This is, in some sense, a gift that keeps on giving. Like heartburn.

An Official Christmas Gift from the Crack Young Staff: Must-Read “Weblogs”

1. The Riehl World View (a.k.a. The Carnivorous Conservative): Dan, the proprietor of this wondrous “weblog,” received cartloads of fame for his around-the-clock coverage of the Natalee Holloway disappearance. He’s so darn knowledgeable about this and so much else, we have the sneaking suspicion that he is Natalee Holloway. Admittedly, though, this wouldn’t make much sense. Perhaps we should have thought that through more before we wrote it.

2. The Ebb & Flow Institute: Okay, so we have a bone to pick with these guys. Like many other “weblog” proprietors, the Ebbers and Flowers officially endorsed another candidate for the 2005 Humor/Comics Weblog Award. We, of course, hold grudges like Oprah’s against Letterman. But we’re willing to be man and woman enough to inform you that their “weblog” is uproariously funny, and horribly overlooked.

3. The Joy of Curmudgeonry: The proprietor of this well-written “weblog,” interestingly called Deogowulf, writes some interesting demolitions of fashionable academics. It’s smart and well worth the read.

4. Naked Villainy: It’s just plain hilarious. The Maximum Leader, tyrant of Naked Villainy, is our official vacation replacement at “The Hatemonger’s Quarterly.” If that doesn’t speak well of his e-genius, we collectively don’t know what does.

5. Lynn Sislo’s A Sweet, Familiar Dissonance: Mrs. Sislo is a wonderfully open-minded critic of the arts. We particularly esteem her takes on classical music. If you ask us, anyone who knows Dittersdorf can’t be all bad.

So there you have it, dear reader: Our gift to you. Let us note that these fine “weblogs” are not the only fine “weblogs” on Al Gore’s World-Wide Web. If you haven’t been mentioned by us and you’re as sore as Madonna after a visit to the Chicago Bulls’ dressing room, we must inform you that our list was of necessity brief. We’ll pick some more excellent “weblogs” in the weeks to come.

For now, dear reader, we must wish you a merry Christmas.

Posted at December 25, 2005 12:01 AM | TrackBack