Bill Christison's Orgy

Those concerned about America’s ability to win the War on Terrorism should think long and hard about the fact that an anti-Semitic dolt like Michael Scheuer, author of the feculent title Imperial Hubris, formerly held a vaunted position in the CIA. If chuckleheads such as Scheuer—who infamously claimed that the American Holocaust Museum was an insidious example of Jewish propaganda—is the type of fellow hunting for Osama bin Laden, we’re not highly likely to defeat Islamofascism anytime soon.

Okay, you say: Michael Scheuer is clearly a raving loon. But, come on; he’s only one guy. Surely that doesn’t signal any kind of grave crisis in the CIA. Surely all the other analysts would make Mr. Scheuer seem like the helmeted short-bus passenger he is.

As John Kerry might say, in typically demotic phraseology, would it were so. But, alas, a gander at a terse article by one Bill Christison demonstrates that this is not, in fact, the case.

Said article, which is actually a transcription of a brief speech Mr. Christison delivered at a “Peace-with-Justice” (and capitulation) rally, appears in the e-pages of the “web” journal Counterpunch. Astute readers, then, will already have cause for concern: Counterpunch, edited by deranged conspiracy theorist Alexander Cockburn, is the source of all varieties of loony anti-capitalist carping.

So, you are probably not asking yourself, who is the milquetoast-named Bill Christison? Well, the folks at Counterpunch refer to him as “a senior official of the CIA. He served as a National Intelligence Officer and as Director of the CIA's Office of Regional and Political Analysis.” This, dear reader, does not bode well for these here United States.

Even before one gets to the article itself, one can already tell that its author is a bit of a rube. The introduction to the piece tells us the following:

Challenged by the thought that people who would never listen for ten minutes might indeed listen for three, the author of this piece spoke the following.

Well, that is a very challenging thought. Perhaps Mr. Christison would like to be challenged by this brain-teaser: No one wants to read the arrant piffle of a lunatic—no matter how long or short said piffle is. Vexing, isn’t it?

Okay, okay, you say, get to the article. What makes it, in short, the work of a nutter? Need we do better than offer the first three paragraphs?

We need to WAKE UP! The policies of the United States are a human rights disaster. Here we are, in December 2005, engaged in an orgy of shopping and consumerism, blatantly glorifying our wealth and utterly unconcerned with the picture this orgy presents to the world's poor. The global policies of the U.S. are seen -- and justly so -- as greedy and immoral, policies that violate the human rights of the poor and the powerless everywhere.

Outside the United States it is widely understood that the true motives of the Bush administration for invading Iraq in 2003 were threefold: (1) the U.S. drive for global empire, (2) oil, and (3) the desire of the neocons in Washington to conquer Iraq in order to benefit Israel. Inside the U.S., the last of these reasons -- the pressure of the neocons for war on Israel's behalf -- is hardly ever mentioned.

This is the thoughtful exegesis of a CIA analyst? If such genius is a product of our intelligent agency’s best and brightest, can someone explain why we shouldn’t “out” these fellows and lasses in the press? As far as we can tell, the Islamists would love to find out the names of some covert CIAers—that way, they could make a few more friends and allies.

Notice, dear reader, the pathetic Marxoid “logic” of this excerpt: Somehow the West’s “orgy” of shopping is impoverishing the world’s poor. Can we, the crack young staff of “The Hatemonger’s Quarterly,” suggest that Mr. Christison has never taken an economics class? After all, his argument seems about as sophisticated as Pierre-Joseph Proudhon’s Property Is Theft.

This guy ought to stop fixating on consumerism as an “orgy,” and take out a book on Adam Smith from his local library. Perhaps someone has penned an Orgy of Adam Smith book for him to savor?

Quite naturally, it is more than a bit disturbing that this former CIA analyst believes the whole “Israel Is To Blame for All of the Muslim World’s Pathologies” argument. And his unsubtle Jew-baiting ain’t particularly quaint either.

But perhaps his No-Blood-for-Oil thesis is the most appalling. This guy, who presumably had access to all types of intelligence, still opines that the US liberated Iraq for petroleum interests.

All of this leads us, the crack young staff of “The Hatemonger’s Quarterly,” to conclude that Bill Christison’s is the only orgy we wouldn’t like to attend.