April 02, 2004
What's in a Name? Although
What's in a Name?
Although “The Hatemonger’s Quarterly” has only been up and running for a few short days, there has already been massive confusion about its title. Our crack staff has been answering a congeries of ‘phone calls from countless media sources—The Denver Daily Woodchuck, The Berkeley Snorter, &c.—about the origin of our publication's name. One young staff member even reported that The New York Times gave us a call—but we refused to answer it: Frankly, ever since the whole Jayson Blair brouhaha, we don’t trust the Gray Lady anymore.We at “The Hatemonger’s Quarterly” figured, dear reader, that we might as well let you in on the history of our storied publication. In 1920, a 42-year-old schoolteacher named Eliot McPhee undertook the publication a new journal, which he entitled “The Hatemonger’s Quarterly.” It seems as if Mr. McPhee, who taught science to adolescents, desired to use his new quarterly as a means to get out some of his abundant anger. As a result, for the three short years of its publication, the print edition of “The Hatemonger’s Quarterly” was dedicated to a thorough trouncing of sundry 8th-graders.
Unfortunately for Mr. McPhee, a particularly vitriolic attack on a student named Mary Adkins landed “The Hatemonger’s Quarterly” in a spot of trouble. Ms. Adkins’ concerned parents informed the local authorities about Mr. McPhee’s screed, and the police shut down his operation.
Thus ended the uneventful history of “The Hatemonger’s Quarterly”—until now. Last year, a member of our young staff-to-be found a copy of Mr. McPhee’s publication in the main library on the campus of Salem State University (also known as the State University of Massachusetts at Salem). Immediately impressed with the high quality of the rancor contained in the journal, our young staff member got in touch with Mr. McPhee’s widow’s daughter, who was more than happy to grant us sole use of the title of her late step-father’s journal.
As such, we, the crack staff of “The Hatemonger’s Quarterly,” are proud to offer the Internet edition of Mr. McPhee’s storied publication. We hope that it lives up to the grand tradition of the print edition of “The Hatemonger’s Quarterly.” It is a little-known fact, actually, that the original version of “The Hatemonger’s Quarterly,” in addition to publishing Mr. McPhee’s screeds, actually printed the first piece of poetry ever penned by President Jimmy Carter. In an installment of our “weblog” to follow, in fact, we shall publish this tantalizing bit of verse from poetaster-cum-President Carter.
So fear not, dear reader! “The Hatemonger’s Quarterly” is only in name a quarterly. We hope to offer routine animadversions on a plethora of topics. We think it would make the late Mr. McPhee proud.
