May 15, 2004

Giving Back to the Community

Giving Back to the Community

The entire Western World must know by now that we, the crack young staff of “The Hatemonger’s Quarterly,” don’t publish on the weekends. So, dear reader, undoubtedly the appearance of this post on a Saturday has resulted in massive confusion and widespread disarray. In fact, we heard that a riot broke out in Buffalo (NY) as the result of this posting. But, we suppose, the unruly mob may simply be protesting the fact that it inhabits Buffalo (NY). We know we would.

Still, the question beckons: Why is the crack young staff of “The Hatemonger’s Quarterly” publishing on one of its glorious days off?

If we were more concerned with self-puffery, we’d tell you that we are posting in order to inform our massive readership of the various lauds we have received from fancy-pants figures world-wide. You know, real heavy-hitters. The kinds of people who hold down jobs.

For instance, we have already pocketed praise from such notables as: James Taranto of; Stefan Beck of The New Criterion; Harry Siegel of New Partisan; and our mothers. In addition, we even received an e-mail from Fox News’ Brit Hume. Granted, Mr. Hume corrected our grammar. Still, he seemed to enjoy the site. All we need is acclaim from Mark Steyn, Christopher Hitchens, and Rod Liddle and we have effectively stormed the proverbial castle of the proverbial chattering classes. Hint, hint, fellows!

But, no: We, the crack young staff of “The Hatemonger’s Quarterly,” are far too humble to spend a Saturday basking in the luminous acclamations we have taken in. Rather, we are publishing on a Saturday for a reason that is more, well, humble.

As even the careless reader of our humble “weblog” must know by now, we, the crack young staff of “The Hatemonger’s Quarterly,” post one article per weekday. This leaves very little room for us to mention other “weblogs” that we enjoy. And, naturally, this is particularly unfortunate because it does not allow us to give kudos back to the “web” community that has been so kind to us.

No longer. We, the crack young staff of “The Hatemonger’s Quarterly,” want to spend some time proffering a bit of praise. Naturally, we want to thank all of the “weblogs” that were nice enough to discuss our site—whether we paid them or not. As a token of our esteem, we’ve highlighted these “weblogs” on the right side of our site, under the clever title “weblogs.”

We particularly would like to thank Joanne Jacobs, the undisputed queen of the education “weblogs,” for helping to publicize our First Annual Horrible College-Student Poetry Competition. We also offer kudos to the clever for the same reason.

We feel the need to give some commendation to, which linked to our Do-It-Yourself Patriotism Quiz. As anyone familiar with the Internet must know, however, gets more hits than Jerry Cooney (before his retirement). As a result, we’re not particularly sanguine that our mention of the Absolut Pundit will have a demonstrable effect on his popularity.

Anyone who fails to read the aforementioned “weblogs” is pretty darn foolish. There is one site, however, with which we, the crack young staff of “The Hatemonger’s Quarterly,” feel a certain eerie kinship. This, dear reader, is the “weblog” delicately titled The Llama Butchers. We’re not quite sure what draws us in to their site each day: The mordant wit; the sassy shout-outs; the groovy pictures. We must say, however, that we, the crack young staff of “The Hatemonger’s Quarterly,” are utterly jealous of their abilities with Photoshop. Whereas their site comes adorned with sundry exempla of attractive and hysterical pictures, our “weblog” looks like the desiccated work of Luddites. Which, come to think, it is.

So, not only do we urge you to peruse the Llama Butchers’ site, we offer a curse for those who don’t: May your only daughters win a Gerard Depardieu look-alike contest. (That ought to send some traffic their way.)

As to the other “weblogs” who have mentioned us, don’t worry—your day will come. After all, we can’t give back to the community all in one day. Even Martha Stewart probably won’t be allowed to manage that.

Posted at May 15, 2004 12:09 AM | TrackBack