July 27, 2004

The Catch Phrase Craze, Part

The Catch Phrase Craze, Part the Second (This Time, It’s Personal)

In a recent post, we, the crack young staff of “The Hatemonger’s Quarterly,” were waxing pathetic about the dilapidated state of our “weblog.” Although our “website” used to be, as the Valley Girls say, mondo cool, it has become markedly less popular over the course of our seven-week vacation.

As a result, we, the crack young staff of “The Hatemonger’s Quarterly,” after a few minutes of what the self-help crowd calls soul-searching, decided that our “website” sorely lacked catchy slogans that would somehow draw in potential readers. Kind of like “Coke is it,” but catchy. That sort of thing.

Anyway, as our regular readers must know, we made a plea to those who peruse this humble “weblog” to come upon a catch phrase that is suitably, well, catchy.

Little did we know, dear reader, that our readership—although smaller than it was a few short months ago—is a collection of extremely clever gentlemen and gentlewomen (excuse us, fellow feminists: Gentlewomyn). Soon after our call for fetching slogans, we received a bevy of them via e-mail from an assortment of learned characters.

We have received so many fancy phrases, dear reader, that we don’t quite know what to do with them all. Sure, some of them can be saved as hip tag-lines for upcoming posts, but we, the crack young staff of “The Hatemonger’s Quarterly,” don’t want to seem as if we are taking credit for our readers’ work. After all, our Official Catch Phrase Department could only come up with impoverished slogans drawn from soft rock lyrics: “Precious and Few Are the Moments We Two Can Hate,” &c.

As a result, the Official Layout Department of “The Hatemonger’s Quarterly” has decided to use today’s post as a means to highlight some of the more clever slogans we received. This does not imply, of course, that we won’t employ these fetching phrases in future posts. On the contrary. Still, we wanted to offer our readership a list of some of the catchy slogans that some precocious fellows and ladies sent to us. Perhaps we can even get other readers to vote on which catch phrases they most esteem.

First, however, we want to offer a kind sentiment to everyone who took the time to come upon a catch phrase for us. If there were only three thousand more of you, our humble “weblog” would be very popular indeed. Naturally, it goes without saying that pretty much every catch phrase we received was brilliant. Including the stupid ones.

Without further ado, then, here are some highlights from our First Official Call for Catch Phrases on the Part of a Flagging Young “Weblog”:

1. “Hate is everything it’s cracked up to be” –Jack Riley

This, naturally, is pure catch-phrase genius. The esteemed Mr. Riley has made a clever play-on-words, which even the casual reader of our “weblog” should pick up on. Currently, our Official Catch Phrase Department is in the midst of negotiations with Mr. Riley’s employer, in order to see if he can join the crack young staff. We shall update you on the progress of these discussions as soon as possible.

2. “Love the hate” –The Outer Life Guy

How simple! How Elegant! No wonder this Guy’s “weblog” is well worth perusing!

3. “Hate: Fun. Drawn. And Quartered” –Stephen Baldwin

Another gem from a master of the “weblog.” The clever reader will catch a clever pun thrown into the mix. If this catchy slogan isn’t reason enough to check out Mr. Baldwin’s “website,” which is a daily festival of coruscating genius, we don’t know what is.

4. “Rousing the rabble and castigating the deserved, all to a beat you can dance to” –Dallas Sipes

Wow! Clearly, Ms. Sipes has spent many decades as an advertising executive. We are simply aghast that she would deign to write to us with a free suggestion. Bravo!

5. “He hate me” –Harry Siegel

Now, dear reader, this fetching slogan has a number of things to recommend it. First, it comes from the mind of Mr. Siegel, author and editor par excellence of New Partisan, one of the greatest “websites” on the Internet, in our humble opinion. In addition, as Mr. Siegel noted in his missive to us, “he hate me” is a pathetic slogan culled from the jersey of an infamous member of the XFL. The XFL, as far as we are concerned, is the only exception to H.L. Menken’s brilliant quip: No one every went broke underestimating the taste of the American public. As a result, this slogan has, as Susan Sontag would say, camp appeal. Plus, it may draw in the three people who watched the XFL.

6. “All the hate that’s fit to monger” –The Misspent One

First, dear reader, we should note that this clever slogan comes from the keyboard of another master of the World Wide Web, the proprietor of A Misspent Life. In addition, Mr. Misspent has made a brilliant allusion to The Gray Lady. To be sure, The New York Times, the slogan of which, if we recall correctly, is “All the news that fits,” or “All the news that prints to fit,” is a rather sordid rag. Once Jayson Blair left, we let our subscription lapse. Still, Mr. Misspent is clearly having some fun at the expense of The Gray Lady, which we very much enjoy.

Well, dear reader, those were just a sampling of the manifold slogans of genius we have received. Do not be surprised if some of them appear in the posts to come. And, naturally, if you have your own ideas for “The Hatemonger’s Quarterly,” we, the crack young staff, would love to hear from you. Simply click on the “Contact Us” link at the top right-hand corner of your computer screen. With your help, we may reach a few readers yet.

Posted at July 27, 2004 12:01 AM | TrackBack