August 19, 2004

Can You Handle Radical Charlatanry?

Can You Handle Radical Charlatanry?

During the past few hours, one of the senior editors at “The Hatemonger’s Quarterly”—let’s just call him “Chip”—has been flipping through the August 2004 number of Wisdom magazine. Well, technically “Chip” has been reading the “New England Edition” of this periodical, the full name of which is “Wisdom of the Heavens, Earth, Body, Mind & Soul.”

We, the crack young staff of “The Hatemonger’s Quarterly,” know what you are thinking, dear reader: The folks at “Wisdom of the Heavens, Earth, Body, Mind & Soul” left out a few kinds of wisdom from their title. How unfortunate. What about the wisdom of, say, the ducks? Or clambakes? Or Barbara Boxer?

But we digress. We, the crack young staff of “The Hatemonger’s Quarterly,” have decided to devote today’s edition of our humble “weblog” to a curious advertisement that appears in the aforementioned issue of “Wisdom.”

This ad, found on page 13, bears the heading: “Can You Handle Radical Honesty?” We, the crack young staff of "The Hatemonger's Quarterly," thought to ourselves: You’re darn right we can! Accordingly, we read on:

In today’s world many people make themselves spiritually, mentally and yes [sic] physically ill by either lying or withholding their feelings and thoughts from others.

Some people make us spiritually, mentally, and, yes, physically ill by means of their failure to use commas where they are needed.

Brad Blanton will discuss how we can transform our lives by “living out loud”.

Perhaps Brad will also discuss how he employs pseudo-British punctuation at the end of his sentences. Has Brad, we wonder, ever taught a pupil who is deaf? How can he tell if this student is “living out loud”?

This is a process where [sic] one expresses what they [sic] honestly think, feel, and have done.

Is this process only intended for those with a radically poor sense of grammar?

We’ll explore what it would be like to live in a world where everybody told the truth all the time.

How nauseating. Naturally, Brad Blanton uses this savvy introductory paragraph as a means to entice the reader to shell out $35 for the benefit of a “mixer” with him and $295 for an accompanying “one day intensive workshop.”

Okay, Brad. It’s time for your own dose of “Radical Honesty.” For someone who trumpets his Ph.D. in his advertisement, you have an appallingly poor grasp of the English language. How’s that for radical? Your “mixer” and “intensive workshop” appear to be scams that will radically boost your income. Pretty radical, eh? We’d rather sit through a version of the complete operatic works of Wagner sung entirely by Roseanne Barr than attend your feculent “workshop.”

So, the question beckons, Dr. Blanton: Can you handle Radical Honesty?

Posted at August 19, 2004 12:01 AM | TrackBack