September 16, 2004
We’d Rather Talk About Something
We’d Rather Talk About Something Else
Trolling ‘round the World-Wide Web recently, we, the crack young staff of “The Hatemonger’s Quarterly,” couldn’t help but notice that all—we repeat all --of our fellow “webloggers” are pontificating about the Dan Rather and the Phony Documents Story.If you don’t believe us, dear reader, just type in the URL of your favorite “weblog.” Regardless of this “weblog’s” focus—be it politics, or cooking, or animal husbandry—it will offer its author’s take on what has recently been labeled Rathergate.
Are we, the crack young staff of “The Hatemonger’s Quarterly,” the only people who don’t care about this story anymore?
After all, let’s recap what Rathergate has taught us: 1) “60 Minutes” is home to some shoddy reporting; 2) Dan Rather is a leftist who is out to get George W. Bush. Are we, the crack young staff of “The Hatemonger’s Quarterly,” the only people who already knew both of these things?
Don’t get us wrong, dear reader: The Rathergate tale is an entertaining one, full of journalistic mendacity and idiocy. But we have figured that enough is enough.
In fact, one of our investigative reporters—let’s just call him “Chip”—interviewed Cara Smith, a “weblogger” whose “website,” premiumfish.blogspot.com, is home to all kinds of aquatic advice. The following exchange, culled from this lengthy correspondence, demonstrates our point beautifully, if we must say so ourselves:
“Chip”: So, you run a “website” that is devoted to the purchasing and enjoyment of pet fish?
Cara: Dan Rather.
“Chip”: Excuse me?
Cara: Microsoft word.
“Chip”: Do you or do you not run this kind of “website”?
Cara The superscript “th” was the real giveaway.
“Chip”: (frustrated) Okay. Okay. Let me try another line of attack. How much time should a fish owner spend with his fish each week?
Cara: “60 Minutes.”
“Chip”: Finally you answer one of my questions!
