September 22, 2004

Op-Eds by College Kids The

Op-Eds by College Kids

The regular reader of our humble “weblog” must know that we, the crack young staff of “The Hatemonger’s Quarterly,” are often irked by the pertinacious character of many a college student. Whether it’s abysmal feminist poetry or lackluster classroom pontification, it never fails to rankle.

But there is one particular forum for college students that bothers us more than all the others: The op-ed in the student newspaper.

You know what we are talking about, dear reader: Each campus maintains its own student-run rag that offers shockingly poor quality articles on various local, national, and international events. Usually, the “reporters” for these outfits stick to sundry campus issues: The latest date rape drugs; the latest “Take Back the Mid-Afternoon” Rally; &c.

Yet the tyros who sign up to pose as op-eders never confine themselves to such quotidian fare. On the contrary: They enjoy waxing ignorant on a gamut of important issues of the day.

Naturally, these young tykes are delusional: They appear to believe that the entire world will change its mind on the liberation of Iraq if some 19-year-old offers a few incoherent ramblings on the subject.

Oh, sure: We are all dying to know what a guy who spends half of his free time smoking pot and playing video games thinks about international affairs. Enlighten us, oh wise 20-year-old.

As if this weren’t bad enough, the op-eds in question are normally edited by a passel of pimply teenagers who haven’t even the slightest acquaintance with grammar. They’ve spent their entire youths immersed in “student-centered learning,” and thus have a working knowledge of the English language roughly equivalent to that of a snail.

As such, the collegiate op-eder amazes his readership with headlines such as: “The Killing in Iraq: Whose to Blame?”; “Israel and Other Anti-Semitics”; &c.

As far as we, the crack young staff of “The Hatemonger’s Quarterly,” are concerned, college students shouldn’t be allowed to offer their opinions—on anything. Well, perhaps on keg stands.

Posted at September 22, 2004 12:01 AM | TrackBack