January 05, 2005
How Do We Do It?
How Do We Do It?
As dutiful visitors to Al Gore’s World-Wide Web no doubt realize, things have returned to normal throughout the “blogosphere.” Although sundry “webloggers” gave themselves a holiday break from “weblogging,” they have mostly returned, in order to share with their reader(s) uninteresting factoids about their drab, miserable lives.Loyal fans of this “weblog,” however, have most assuredly realized that we, the crack young staff of “The Hatemonger’s Quarterly,” didn’t take such a holiday hiatus. Rather, we blithely continued to offer our routine animadversions on all and sundry.
This has probably led manifold readers of our humble “weblog” to wonder: How does the crack young staff do it? How does it manage to present us with mediocre humor every weekday, regardless of Kwanzaa?
Well, dear reader, we’re glad we made you ask. We, the crack young staff of “The Hatemonger’s Quarterly,” have so many answers to these queries that we hardly know where to begin. How about at the beginning?
First, we simply have to mention our tireless dedication. Once we find a new set of Goodyears for our staff Honda Civics, we suppose we will have to mention our “tired dedication.”
Anyway, we, the crack young staff of “The Hatemonger’s Quarterly,” compel our unpaid interns to spend literally days each day in order to offer you, dear reader, the most charming product possible. In fact, we fabricate all kinds of tall tales in order to fool our interns into working for free. Some of these dolts actually believe that “The Hatemonger’s Quarterly” serves as a pipeline to The New Yorker!
In addition, we, the crack young staff of “The Hatemonger’s Quarterly,” must mention our sincere commitment to the purity of the “weblog.” We would never sully our delightful posts with commercials and product placements.
We must also thank Gatorade, the fine beverage that keeps us all going. Man, what we wouldn’t give to Be Like Mike.
But mostly, dear reader, we, the crack young staff of “The Hatemonger’s Quarterly,” must attribute our painstaking, incessant work to you, the three or four readers who rush out of bed and check our “weblog,” even if it’s the holiday season and you are currently stuck in a correctional facility. As some excruciatingly talented songstress once crooned, you are the wings beneath our wind.
