January 13, 2005
Lightarian Rays? In a recent
Lightarian Rays?
In a recent post, dear reader, we, the crack young staff of “The Hatemonger’s Quarterly,” have dilated on the ridiculousness of New Age mysticism. In fact, we had enjoyed our fill of ridiculous pseudo-spiritual drivel.It seems, dear reader, that New Age hokum, however, is the gift that keeps on giving. It’s the Energizer Bunny of the Orient.
For instance, take a gander at an advertisement we saw in the January 2005 number of the non-award-winning publication Wisdom of the Heavens, Earth, Body, Mind & Soul:
LIGHTARIAN RAYS
A series of guided meditation attunements that create a permanent connection for you with the Ascended Masters, who will work with your Higher Self in your etheric background assisting you in the releasement [sic] of programs, belief systems, and soul patterning that separate you from the Source.
We know what you are thinking: Boy, the genius behind “Lightarian Rays” sure has a talent for marketing! He can certainly craft a fetching slogan. Move over, “Coke Is It”; “A series of guided meditation attunements that create a permanent…” has come to town!
We, the crack young staff of “The Hatemonger’s Quarterly,” were somewhat suspicious about this advertisement, and the woman behind it, one Pamela M. Edmunds, who bills herself as a “Lightarian Ray Practitioner and Teacher.”
Never mind the hippie-esque palaver about connecting with the “Ascended Masters,” or the garbage about working with your “Higher Self” (which, we presume, is simply oneself with high-heel shoes).
We, the crack young staff of “The Hatemonger’s Quarterly,” hope we are not reading into the ad too much to suggest this frightening conclusion: “Lightarian Rays” sounds a heck of a lot like “Light Aryan Race.”
As far as we, the crack young staff of “The Hatemonger’s Quarterly,” are concerned, Ms. Pamela M. Edmunds (who could be Dr. Pamela M. Edmunds, if she spent a sufficient amount of time in “Lightarian Rays” medical school) is offering a spiritual tour for budding Nazis.
So, dear reader, if you know a despicable racist who desperately requires “assisting” with “the releasement [sic] of programs, belief systems, and soul patterning” (and, quite frankly, who doesn’t?), Ms. Edmunds is clearly the woman to call.
