March 22, 2005

Like Father Like Daughter

Like Father Like Daughter

Every once in a great while, we, the crack young staff of “The Hatemonger’s Quarterly,” stumble onto a bit of news that speaks of staggering stupidity. Perhaps a recent story, found in the weekly version of The Daily Telegraph, demonstrates some of the most appalling chuckleheadedness in recent memory.

Penned by Matt Born, the piece is almost jaw-droppingly unbelievable. Just take a gander at it’s beginning:

Elizabeth Jagger and Calum Best had a “legitimate expectation of privacy” when they engaged in sexual activity just inside the front door of a West End nightclub, a High Court judge said last week.

Rather staggering, isn’t it? As the story makes clear, the 20-year-old Ms. Jagger—the daughter of some erstwhile celebrity named Mick Jagger—engaged in some sort of hanky panky with her boyfriend in a London hotspot. When pictures from said “private” liaison were published in a tabloid, Ms. Jagger, who daylights as a model, brought the suit.

We know exactly what you are thinking, dear reader: Who the heck is stupider—Mick Jagger’s dunce of a daughter or Mr. Justice Bell, the fellow who made this strange ruling?

At this juncture, we, the crack young staff of “The Hatemonger’s Quarterly,” are inclined to shout “Advantage Bell!” Admittedly, we don’t possess a keen understanding of the British legal system. Even so, we have a hard time believing that a location called “just inside the front door of a West End nightclub” counts as “private.”

In fact, we’re willing to expand on this idea: We also don’t think that a location called “just inside the front door of an East End nightclub” counts as “private.” So this isn’t some kind of geographical quibble.

This story made us collectively wonder what kind of places Mr. Justice Bell also deems “private”: The hood (excuse us: Bonnet) of a car; Fenway Park; cable television.

Yet let us not forget to mention another mentionable regarding this story. It appears as if Mick Jagger has somehow—gasp!—raised a less-than-morally-upright daughter.

Shocking, isn’t it? How did this happen?

Perhaps we’ll have to ask Jerri Hall.

Posted at March 22, 2005 12:01 AM | TrackBack