June 21, 2005

DWG: Driving While Gay

DWG: Driving While Gay

Many of our friends on the political Left constantly blather on about the superiority of European mores. If only, they incessantly opine, Americans were wont to look upon the world with the same enlightened tolerance of our European brethren, the United States would be a far more wonderful country.

Americans distraught by the sexual activities of President Clinton, think these lefties, ought to take a gander at the extra-marital affairs of Francois Mitterrand. Oddly, however, our friends on the political Left don’t seem to believe that Silvio Berlusconi is such a wonderful role model for American statesmen. After all, we already have our share of ultra-wealthy sleazeballs with ties to organized crime.

Regardless, dear reader, we had reason to think about the purported greatness of the European outlook upon taking a gander at two eye-catching stories we spied in the weekly version of England’s Daily Telegraph. We, the crack young staff of “The Hatemonger’s Quarterly,” think they speak wonders about the supremacy of the European worldview.

The first short piece reads as follows:

Arrest for gay horse jibe “absurd”

Police officers who arrested a student for calling a police horse “gay” have been accused of “absurd heavy-handedness” by a campaigner for homosexual rights. Peter Tatchell of the pressure group Outrage! said that the arrest of Sam Brown, a student at Oxford University, “brought the police service into disrepute.”

We, the crack young staff of “The Hatemonger’s Quarterly,” believe that the police officers in question could easily snag jobs in America as women’s studies professors, if they run into any trouble on the force.

But this is neither here nor there. We, the crack young staff of “The Hatemonger’s Quarterly,” simply wanted to note that one Sam Brown, an Oxford lad, called a police horse “gay.”

How’s that for moral superiority—or maturity? Unless this steed had a feathered mane and Versace stirrups, this is one imbecilic young Englishman. Perhaps he’ll be arrested in the future for chastising a bi-sexual squirrel.

If this story is not odd enough, we offer the second one, which is as follows:

Driving ban for gay man in Sicily

A Sicilian court condemned road authorities last week for suspending the driving licence of a man after finding out he was gay. The court said being gay was merely “a personal disturbance” which had no bearing on the person’s ability to drive. The 23-year-old man, who was stopped in Catania, is demanding 337,000 Pounds damages.

Even more peculiar, isn’t it? Whilst we benighted folks in the United States are tearing our collective hair out about racial profiling, the Italians are worried about “sexual profiling.”

And it’s nice to see that the Sicilians merely label homosexuality “a personal disturbance”: It’s not anything that would hamper your ability to operate a washing machine or a telephone.

Gee, they really is more sophisticated over thar’ in Europe, ain’t they?

Posted at June 21, 2005 12:01 AM | TrackBack