August 25, 2005

Maureen Dowd’s Mental Vacation We,

Maureen Dowd’s Mental Vacation

We, the crack young staff of “The Hatemonger’s Quarterly,” have long been bothered by New York Times columnist Maureen Dowd. For years now, we have collectively wondered whether she is actually a humorist or not. Her bi-weekly contributions to the Gray Lady are so abysmally pathetic that we actually can’t tell if she is attempting to be funny. We’ve seen better writing from illiterates.

As far as we’re concerned, Ms. Dowd is The New York Times’ gift to the American conservative movement. Her columns are so wretched that they make her opponents seem like budding Albert Einsteins. In short, if Maureen Dowd opposes it, it can’t be half bad.

And recently, dear reader, we’ve found Ms. Dowd particularly insipid. In her past couple of pieces, this Human Affirmative-Action Estrogen Project has lampooned President Bush for taking a vacation. Her latest piece, from yesterday’s number of the Times, begins as follows:

W. vacationed so hard in Texas he got bushed.

To which we, the crack young staff of “The Hatemonger’s Quarterly,” respond: You have got to be kidding us. This rebarbative play on words is Pulitzer Prize material? Puh-lease.

In fact, Ms. Dowd’s argument—although admittedly rip-roaringly unfunny—doesn’t even make sense. As even the casual observer of All the News That Fits certainly knows, Ms. Dowd detests President Bush. To her, President Bush is like Osama bin Laden—save that he’s not as smart and not as altruistic.

You might think, given her opinion of our current Commander-in-Chief, that Ms. Dowd would simply treasure President Bush’s vacation. After all, she despises everything he does. So, when he’s on vacation, he’s liable to do far less. What’s not to like?

Indeed, we, the crack young staff of “The Hatemonger’s Quarterly,” have reached the conclusion that Ms. Dowd is also on vacation. But, unlike President Bush, she isn’t jogging and fishing.

Rather, she’s on a mental vacation. As such, this Jayson Blair of females incessantly writes the same column over and over again.

We know what you’re thinking, dear reader: Bob Herbert and Paul Krugman are also on mental vacations. They must have the same mental travel agent.

Posted at August 25, 2005 12:01 AM | TrackBack