September 14, 2005

Eleanor Clift, Please Be the

Eleanor Clift, Please Be the Father of Our Children

Every once in a great while, dear reader, we, the crack young staff of “The Hatemonger’s Quarterly,” learn something novel about our friend the Internet. As we’ve found out, you can take in a few pointers now and again whilst you are busy e-strolling.

Here’s a perfect case in point. A little while ago, we composed a “post” in which we referred to the irksome talking head Eleanor Clift. It was a passing reference, to be sure, but a reference nonetheless.

Well, dear reader, much to our surprise, we soon discovered that some poor flaks at MSNBC are paid to “link” to “weblogs” that mention any NBC, MSNBC, or Newsweek personalities. Accordingly, a few days ago, we, the crack young staff of “The Hatemonger’s Quarterly,” were prominently featured on a “webpage” whose title read “Conversations in the blogosphere about Eleanor Clift.” Isn’t that interesting?

Now, we don’t mean to be a bunch of snooty occupational elitists, but we think that “linking” to mentions of Howard Fineman is a pretty horrid job. After all, anyone reasonable will simply say that Mr. Fineman is a self-important twit.

And this got us to thinking: Why not make these poor sods at the MSNBC/NBC/Newsweek “website” do a bit of work? Why shouldn’t they earn their money? After all, it’s not every day that the World-Wide Web lights up with conversation pertaining to Jonathan Alter, is it? (Not if God is merciful, at least.)

Accordingly, dear reader, we, the crack young staff of “The Hatemonger’s Quarterly,” have endeavored to use this humble “post” as a surefire way to get “linked” on the illustrious “Conversations about Eleanor Clift” “webpage.” In order to accomplish this, of course, we needed to write about the fetching Ms. Clift at some length.

To this end, we, the crack young staff of “The Hatemonger’s Quarterly,” have composed the following poem, which we have titled:

An Ode to Eleanor Clift by the Crack Young Staff of “The Hatemonger’s Quarterly”

O, Gorgeous Eleanor, How We Love Thee!
Somehow, you manage to make Pat Buchanan sound learned! (And that’s quite a feat.)
Your voice is every bit as lovely as Susan Estrich’s.
Your nasal, trap-door delivery is a hearty reminder to all single men that they made the right choice.
And your knee-jerk leftism is an inspiration to all of those who love politics but don’t like thinking.
O, Gorgeous Eleanor, Wilt Thou Be the Father of Our Children?

Posted at September 14, 2005 12:01 AM | TrackBack