Careful Policy Prescriptions from the America-Loving Left

Perhaps, dear reader, you do not realize that the United States is currently indistinguishable from Nazi Germany. To be honest, that was news to us. Yet a “weblogger” at the popular lefty “website” Daily Kos has crafted a careful essay to this effect, and, as you’ll see, it’s almost preternaturally convincing.

The “weblogger” in question, someone called “Granny Doc,” has named her lucubration “Don’t Tell Me Not to Compare it to Hitler,” and, as you would expect from such a title, it’s very, very nuanced. Here’s its charming opening:

Back in the day when the Brown Shirts and the SA were busily using mobs of thugs to terrify and intimidate German citizens...

Back in the day when an emasculated Parliment [sic] was so busy fighting inflation and trying to hold on to their personal power...

Back in the day when Jews were the designated enemy...

Back in the day when the Courts were sidelined and finally stripped of all power...

Back in the day when the citizens were sold on the idea that a "strong man" was the only thing that could save them...

Back in the day when the world arose and swore we would never let it happen again...

Well, we have. Let it happen again.

We have private mercenary forces acting as an unregulated private army.
We have isolate, unresponsive elected officials consumed with protecting corporate contributors and getting re-elected.

We have Muslims to fear, torture and kill in the name of our personal safety.
We have Courts whose decisions and orders are ignored through Executive signing statements and pronouncements about what laws they will, and will not, obey.

We have lawful subpoenas disregarded by those who are called to testify before oversight committees.

We have a Republican party that having lost the Soviet Bloc as a boogie man [sic] to control and terrify Americans, found a new club with which to beat us into submission in the form of a crazed Saudi.

The parallels are undeniable, and I see only one solution if America, The Grand Experiment, is to survive.

We know what you are thinking, dear reader: This is some thoughtful analysis from one of the greatest minds of the Left. Clearly Granny’s arguments are as perfect as her prose is beautiful. As she argues, the “parallels are undeniable”: America is clearly the second-coming of Hitler’s Germany. We can’t argue against that impeccable logic.

Oh, but wait: It gets even better. Naturally, you are dying to read Granny’s thoughtful hopes for the future of the United States. How can America rescue itself from the horrid clutches of our Nazi present? Here’s Granny’s answer:

I want to stand by and watch it all blow up.

I want the dollar to plunge to worthless paper.

I want the stock market to implode.

I want the economy to plunge into chaos.

I want the Chinese to call in all the debt they hold.

I want an economic meltdown of such staggering proportion that even that idiot on Bill Moyer's Journal who does not know the difference between a State Constitution and the United States Constitution, is forced to look around in mild surprise and wonder what the hell happened.

Only total economic destruction will get the attention of the fools.

I want every single idiot who doesn't think politics is any of their concern to be gob smacked by the terror of losing it all. I want a wake up call of such stunning proportion that a generation will slip from the stage before any American citizen votes on the basis of looks, or, charm, or cant - before any claim of "Free Trade" is accepted as uninteresting. Before any citizen thinks it's cute, or hep, or stylish, to be distainful [sic] of politics.

I want every politician who places getting elected ahead of protecting the Constitution to find their corporate masters have lost interest in their little fiefdom as economic collapse makes their petty posturing even more pathetic.

I want a culture war against greed to emerge from the rubble, and the blyth [sic] acceptance of what is, in favor of the hard work of what could be to become so passe [sic] that our grandchildren will forever wonder what we were thinking.

I want every bamboozled, bubble headed, super-star chasing, reality show afficianado [sic] thrown off the island, and forced to swim in the shark infested waters of what their indifference has wrought.

And I want it now, before this inept, self-serving Congress allows the Facists [sic] one more opportunity to fully convert this from the United States of America, into the 4th Reich.

Gee: That all sounds pretty reasonable. Pining for America’s complete economic collapse—what could be more helpful than that?

Frankly, we, the crack young staff of “The Hatemonger’s Quarterly,” have great difficulty understanding how folks could claim that a major organ of Democratic Party thought such as the Daily Kos is anti-American. How can you call great Americans such as Granny Doc, who clearly hope for the best for our Nazi nation, unpatriotic? It makes no sense to us.