Caviar Anti-Capitalists

A few weeks ago, one of the interns here at “The Hatemonger’s Quarterly”—let’s just call him “Chip”—officially subscribed to The New Statesman, the United Kingdom’s answer to The Nation. Sadly, in order for this weekly rag to appear at our doorstep, “Chip” had to let a few other subscriptions lapse. Here’s to hoping that the next issues of 13th Moon are stinkers.

Anyway, we, the crack young staff of “The Hatemonger’s Quarterly,” have greatly enjoyed perusing The New Statesman each week. For a magazine with ridiculous politics, we must admit it’s a fun read.

And, on occasion, when taking in The New Statesman, one spies the typical fatuousness of the modern left-wing rag. Take, for instance, the 7 May number of the magazine. Emblazoned with the title “Blair: The Reckoning—1997-2007” on its cover, this issue offers a number of hard-left articles describing Tony Blair’s supposedly ruinous stint as Prime Minister.

To a number of the pundits opining in the magazine, among the horrors of the Blair government was the increased economic inequality Britain has experienced under its leader’s stewardship. This sentiment, naturally, fits the magazine’s overall economic outlook, which tends to be in synch with Denmark and Cuba.

Oh, the evils of capitalism! Alas, the rancid “American model” is destroying the world! If only there were a way to make the wealthy poorer!

Given the eat-the-rich sentiments contained in the issue, we were mildly surprised to find a sports column by one Hunter Davies entitled “Worth Its Weight.” You see, dear reader, in this little piece, Mr. Davies gushes about United: The Manchester United, a limited-edition book that costs 3,000 pounds (over $6,000 American). Yeah, you read that right: 3,000 pounds.

Here’s part of Mr. Davies’ fawning review:

I spent two hours turning the pages, not reading the words, just taking in the images and layout—and I did agree in the end that it was an excellent piece of publishing. The archive stuff was beautifully presented, the new stuff expertly shot.

Well, gee. Isn’t that just peachy.

We’ve only got one question: If the staff of The New Statesman firmly believe that economic inequality is a dire problem in the contemporary UK, why are they bothering to wax ecstatic about a ridiculously expensive book on a soccer team? Why are they informing their sanctimoniously left-wing readership that this extravagant tome on a nugatory subject is “Worth Its Weight”?

Wouldn’t this money be better spent on some sort of feckless government program? Wouldn’t it do better work in the pockets of a charity vouched for by George Galloway? Wouldn’t it go farther if donated to the crack young staff of “The Hatemonger’s Quarterly”?

Yeah, we think so too.