Tony Hendra: Deranged Lunatic

Like roughly three of our fellow Americans, we, the crack young staff of “The Hatemonger’s Quarterly” found ourselves wondering: What does Tony Hendra think about Nicholas Sarkozy’s victory in the recent French elections? Mr. Hendra—for those of you blissfully unaware of him—is a writer whose columns for the Huffington Post make the other contributors seem perfectly sane.

We know what you are thinking, dear reader: This Tony Hendra fellow must be one deranged lunatic. And that, we must say, he is. He’s sufficiently nutty that he makes Arianna Huffington seem like a charming, clever, and intelligent woman with a gorgeous, mellifluous voice.

In fact, Mr. Hendra even appears too unhinged for the loyal readers of Huffy Po. In response to his noxious drivel, readers regularly scorn him for his overwrought rhetoric and pathetic simplifications. And, we must say, his response to the Sarkozy triumph is no different.

Mr. Hendra’s discussion of this topic, delicately titled “Blair Out! Sarkozy In! The Changing of the Poodles,” offers darn near every cliché the far Left has to offer. First and foremost, Mr. Hendra must label the victorious M. Sarkozy a—wait for it—racist.

Ah, yes: How dare M. Sarkozy attempt to tackle the dire problem with Muslim immigrants that his country faces! Rather, one should merely ignore the problem, and wait until Sharia law is declared in France, right?

Further, Mr. Hendra must pretend that M. Sarkozy has no mind of his own, but is merely doing the bidding of the evil regime in America. As he puts it, “Sarko” has “neo-fascist owners in Washington.”

But wait a minute: Mr. Hendra’s impeccable logic appears to have hit a snag. If M. Sarkozy is a genuine racist, his political goals must partly be his own. Yet Mr. Hendra claims that Sarkozy is merely a puppet of the Bush junta. If that’s the case, then he shouldn’t have the opportunity to offer the public his own sentiments; he must do the “neo-fascists’” bidding.

So, is he a genuine racist of a puppet? What gives?

In reality, Mr. Hendra seems to have written his pathetic article in order to demonstrate to the Huffington Post faithful that he ought to be committed. Well, that and to show off his sixth-grade French.

After all, anyone who labels the Bush administration “neo-fascist” is someone who has just proved to you that you needn’t pay him any mind. We don’t even get “proto-fascist.” Nope, not even that overheated claptrap suits the enraged Mr. Hendra.

Yet this all leads us to a more substantive point. We thought our pals on the Left liked to talk about the ways in which the United States must appease world leaders. Enough of this neoconservative grandstanding, they say. We need to show deference to others.

Well, here’s good ole’ Tony Hendra bashing the elected leaders of the UK and France, merely because they broadly support the United States in the War on Terrorism. And he’s not above denigrating these world leaders as “poodles” for their concern for Islamofascism. Gee: What great regard for the world you show, Mr. Hendra.

Let’s be honest, dear reader: Tony Hendra is beneath contempt. His views, we hope, are no more indicative of the mindset of modern liberals than Ann Coulter’s are of the minset of modern conservatives. In short, he’s a vapid fool—and one who looks like his dentures just fell out, truth be told. And this leaves only one question: Why in the Lord’s name has Arianna Huffington hired this buffoon to dribble arrant nonsense on her “website”?