Ruminations on the “Ceasefire”

We, the crack young staff of “The Hatemonger’s Quarterly,” oft find ourselves discussing the topic of Israel and their peaceable Palestinian neighbors. Naturally, we’re not the only ones who regularly opine on this matter—regardless of the large number of conflicts throughout the world, for some reason Israel-Palestine receives far more ink. And, it seems, a great deal of this wall-to-wall coverage is overtly and pathetically biased—hence our desire to mention it ourselves.

A recent report from the Associated (with terrorists) Press offers a splendid case-in-point. Here it is in its gloriously obtuse entirety:

GAZA CITY—A month-old ceasefire between Israel and the Palestinians was in jeopardy yesterday following several Palestinian rocket attacks, including one that veered off course and struck a home in the Gaza Strip, wounding a 2-year-old boy. Another rocket hit a community center in the Israeli town of Sderot, causing damage but no injuries, the army said. It was one of six that landed in Israel yesterday.

Okay, so the peaceable Palestinians fire “several” rockets into Israel, and the charming folks at the AP fret that this will end the “ceasefire” between the two sides. Um, wouldn’t you think the rocket attacks themselves would end the ceasefire? After all, you have to fire them in order to get them into Israel, which would obviously end the cease-fire.

So, to our buddies at the AP, a “ceasefire” means Palestinian attacks with no Israeli response. We wonder if the powers-that-be at the AP would consider it a “ceasefire” if we smacked them across the face—provided they failed to attack back. If you ask us, that’s exactly what these terrorist-supporting nincompoops deserve.

Perhaps someone ought to fire a couple of rockets at their abodes, and then prattle on about the horrid possibility that a response to this action could lead to the demise of a fragile ceasefire. We’re sure they’d fully agree that any response to the demolition of their houses would merely serve to escalate tensions, and thus should be fully avoided.

Thus do the useful idiots in the mainstream media aid the eliminationist provocations of the unicycle of violence known as the Palestinian people.