A Bit of a Pickle

Like nearly all Americans, we, the crack young staff of “The Hatemonger’s Quarterly,” know plenty of pals and acquaintances who firmly believe that the United States should not have liberated Iraq, because Arab societies supposedly don’t have the requisite background to live under a democratic form of government. You must know this line of argument: Benighted Arabs simply lack the je ne sais quoi for democracy.

Quite frankly, dear reader, we’ve always found that rationale both vaguely racist and peculiar. The negative view it offers of Arabs should be obvious: These poor barbarians can’t hack a sophisticated form of government. Their history demonstrates that they can’t stomach anything but tyranny.

But it is also a strange argument when coming from the lips of leftists. After all, these are the people who demonize the European Right for hoping to put a halt to Arab immigration in their countries. To our leftist friends, this makes people like the late Pim Fortuyn—the openly homosexual Dutch social liberal—into an insidious extreme rightist.

How can this be? If leftists truly believe that Arabs are incompatible with a democratic form of governance, how can they support Arab immigration to countries that are democracies? And how can they paint the opponents of such immigration as insidious racists?

And it only gets worse: These leftists also support “multiculturalism” and therefore detest the assimilation of foreigners into their new countries’ way of life. If Arabs are incompatible with democracy, as they argue, why wouldn’t you hope that they would assimilate into European or American culture? Do these leftists pine for an Islamic caliphate in their homelands?

We, the crack young staff of “The Hatemonger’s Quarterly,” think all of this makes little sense. But it seems par for the course among our leftist pals, who so often “support” Arabs and Muslims by painting them as semi-human. Ah, how compassionate.