Calling Their Immigration Bluff

For anyone unaware of its existence, Cambridge, MA is home to some of the most snotty, self-righteous folk this side of Berkeley. A long-time confidante of “The Hatemonger’s Quarterly” once referred to residents of Cambridge as the equivalent of breakfast cereal: Once you are done with the fruits and the nuts, you are left with the flakes.

As befitting a locale with a large quotient of holier-than-thou radicals, Cambridge has declared itself an official sanctuary for illegal immigrants. The councilmen of Cambridge have apparently taken time away from their grueling schedule of condemning President Bush and other things that are obviously beyond its purview, and decided to wax sanctimonious about immigration.

Naturally, Cambridge is a fancy-pants town that must be home to very few illegal immigrants: It’s too darn expensive for the average $3 an hour worker. After all, who hops across the border for better access to soymilk? Not many, we’d wager.

It was with great joy, then, that we, the crack young staff of “The Hatemonger’s Quarterly,” spied a story in The Boston Globe pertaining to this typical display of Cambridge sanctimony. As Yvonne Abraham reports, a group called Project USA plans to set up billboards countrywide that lure illegal immigrants to Cambridge. Ms. Abraham tells us:

The proposed billboard would read: ``Attention: Illegal Aliens. Cambridge, Mass. is a sanctuary city. For help getting there, contact projectusa.org/NJ-mass transit."

We know what you are thinking, dear reader: What a gas! Even though this is obviously a joke—we’re sure that illegal immigrants won’t overrun Cambridge—it’s nice to see someone humorously calling Cambridge’s bluff.

Naturally, though, the deeply serious folks in upscale Cambridge don’t see it this way. The Globe reports the following:

[Cambridge Vice Mayor and State Representative Timothy] Toomey derided [the Project USA] initiative, saying he is motivated by racism.

“It would almost be comical if it wasn't so scary," Toomey said. “These people have an agenda, and it doesn't include people of color, and it's as simple as that."

Ah, yes: The racism card. Pardon us if we’re not shocked that Rep. Toomey has sunk so low.

Should we remind Rep. Toomey that Project USA is troubled by illegal immigration, not immigration per se?

This all calls to mind the famous definition of a racist: Someone who is winning an argument with a liberal. And, sadly, it is Toomey’s phony charges that sully legitimate charges of racism.